What I really, really Want

Being the eve of my 50th birthday, I have had a whole lot of time to mull over what I really, really want for my birthday this year.

I have toyed with the idea of a big party which seems to be the societal norm, but have shied away from all the hype and pressurised expectations. Calvin, my 19 year old insists that it is a date that needs to be celebrated with a memorable, large event. It is not by coincidence that he is studying P.R. and Events Management.

Those who know me, understand my need to connect one-on-one with people, even though Charles once referred to me as " a strange chick", which I took as a compliment.

My languages of love are touch and spending time with special people, so the idea of having a loud crowd would leave me feeling quite alone with my senses bombarded. I would feel like I was standing on a busy highway trying desperately to meditate, which is often what I feel when I am just trying to find my inner peace and stilling the crowd in my head. Ha, ha, ha...

So, two days ago, I was asked by Chris and my two sons, Calvin and Dylan what I wanted for my birthday. My answer initially was: " I don't want anything", to which Chris replied: "That's easy!"

I've been painting the walls in our home lately, which I experience as a kind of therapy or meditation and have had much time to mull over what I really, really want. I say want because these are not needs just wants that would please my personality and probably stroke my ego.

So, having found new clarity from my painting meditations, I came up with exactly what I want and told my boys the following:-

From my husband, Chris I have requested a letter. All I want to hear from him is what he has on his heart. It doesn't have to be a love letter or drooling words of praise. It just needs to be a true reflection of whatever lies within, a communication of his feelings about himself, his life, his perceptions, etc. It needs to be honest and open.

From Calvin, I have requested time together to talk about what lies on his heart. All I want from him is some uninterrupted time. You know, we can sell our time, but we can never buy it back again. Once it has gone, it has gone forever.

And from Dylan, my precious youngest son of 14, whose love language is gifts and who is a keen shopper, I have requested him choose me a lipstick. He really does have an eye for selecting just the right shade. Dylan whooped with joy when I told him this request as he said he got off lightly with the easiest task.

Then to my friends and soul mates, there is nothing more heart warming for me than the gift of your sweet presence. So my home is open tomorrow to those of you who wish to pop in and give of your time. I will supply the food and drinks. And please, please do not bring material gifts or even worse cut flowers, as that would make me really sad. I love to see flowers smiling happily in the garden but not decapitated in a vase.

So from a woman who really, really knows what she wants and is not afraid to ask for it,
I bid you 'au revoir' and a week invested in mulling over what it is that is meaningful to you.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you want!

love
Nicolette