Just Pray!

I was at the 'Raw Potluck' evening last Thursday night. They apparently have them all over the world, so those of you who live across the oceans, go and look one up. It is a Raw vegan club that meets once a month to share food, recipes and meet awesome people. All you need do is make one raw vegan dish to share and contribute R20 for the venue hire and you get to eat as much as you like from a buffet of the most divine food.

So, there I was, sipping my organic red wine and salivating on my plateful of brightly coloured, taste bud scintillating food and couldn't help noticing the intensity of those all around me, sharing their stories. It felt almost as though I was back in church.

Isn't it funny how, and Paulo Coelho puts it so succinctly in his 'The Pilgrimage'. "We think that the more people there are who believe as we do, the more certain it will be that what we believe is the truth."

Why is it that just because something sits right with us we feel the need to go and convert the world? What happened to one man's meat is another man's poison. Why do we feel the need to convince everyone else that they're on the wrong path and that we have found the only one that leads to Rome? Don't all paths lead to Rome?

It is my belief that we all get to make our own choices and live out our lives as creatively as we choose or not and that is the way it is meant to be without guilt or regrets or fear or obligation. We are allowed to have opinions, change our minds and experiment and do the opposite. It is our journey and it is a fascinating and incredible one.

Opposite me was a man who was telling his conversion story from alcoholic to tea total er. On my left was a confirmed vegan, who informed me that my salad was not truly vegan because it had honey in it. My neighbour was savouring her glass of red wine as was I and we seemed to find some commonality in sharing an almost naughty vice to the overtures of the AA man opposite. We shared our stories amongst one another of whether we were raw or vegan or meat eating, etc. Some of us were sitting quietly lest our meat eating habits be found out. It was as though everyone was searching for someone to give them the answer.

Meanwhile, don't we all have our own answers? We know exactly which food works for us and which food doesn't. We just keep hoping to find more people like ourselves, to give us permission to be who we are instinctively.

Another thought! When we stress ourselves about what we eat or have guilt and anxiety about indulging in a treat, don't we just create an environment of acidity in our bodies? Disease loves an acidic environment. We should eat to enjoy, to taste and to socialise. Laughter and good wine are the perfect accompaniment to a good meal.

With all the talk of dangerous levels of toxicity in the air that we breathe, the water we drink, the pesticides in our non-organic vegetables and fruit and the hormones in our animal produce, I suddenly came to the conclusion: It's of no use trying to wear a Michael Jackson mask to purify the oxygen reaching our nostrils. We are losing the battle. We are a microcosm of the macrocosm out there. But we do have one powerful tool within our reach and that is prayer.

I have seen the kirlian photography of a droplet of water that has been cursed and one that has been prayed over and the difference in their energetic fields is astounding. Nearly eighty percent of our bodies are water as is the percentage of water to land covering our earth. And what about the percentage of water in our vegetables and fruits that we consume. So it occurred to me that there is very good reason to pray and meditate vitality and pure energy and life giving properties into the very food that we consume, because we can change the energy of our food at the cellular level. We can raise the consciousness and life force energy of the food we eat or at least we can try.

So let's pray. Let's focus warm healing energy and love into every mouthful of food we ingest. Let's not have guilt, but only appreciation and gratitude for our nourishment. Let's not judge others for their food preferences. Let's Pray, Eat, Love ourselves and our earth healthy!

Bon appetite! and Le Haim! ( and for those who need translation: Good appetite! and To Life!)

love
Nicolette

Do You feel like Popcorn?

Do you ever feel like a piece of popcorn? I often do. I so often find myself pondering the path I have come and wondering whether on God’s earth I could ever go back to being what I once was. It’s kind of like trying to cram that screaming baby back into your womb or becoming a reborn virgin again or minimising the freshly popped popcorn and stuffing it back into its little kernel. Oops! Too late, she cried...

My husband, Chris, asked me the other night when I was going to become soft again and this started me on a train of thought. “Can I become soft again? What has happened along my path that has made me hard?

What a lot of roles we play. First the innocent child, then the teenager, the carefree lover, the student, the employee, perhaps the fiance, the spouse, the parent, perhaps the self-employed, the friend, the confidante, soul mate, counsellor, nurse, handyman.

How good are you at flitting between roles? Are you able to duck and dive into your changing roles with ease?

I battle with this. Lately I have been project managing the building at my home. It is really quite astounding how someone like myself, with no prior knowledge of the building trade, has to single handedly take on the all-male work force and steer them along the path of construction. On numerous occasions, I find myself telling the professionals what they should be doing without my direction and when they ask me how, I have to find a way of advising them when I have no knowledge of the process. I seem to have to draw on some divine sense of logic.

I find myself having to leap out of the construction hat and put on my teacher hat to train a client in the correct usage of their stabilising muscles, then put on my taxi driver hat, followed by my Mommy hat to help with homework, then it’s back to the construction hat followed by the cook hat and the wife hat and Oh my God! Who am I?

I feel a bit like that matching game we used to play as kids, where you have to match the correct head to the torso and legs. I feel like the legs of the trainer, the torso of the wife and the head of the site manager. I seriously get all mixed up. I can’t even remember whether I am Martha or Arthur...

So, I am wondering whether it is possible to become all soft and demure again. It sounds like a tall order. I have to get up and get out there and make things happen. Can I do this and at the same time be soft?

It’s a bit of a tough question being asked when you are going to become soft again, a question that begs the answer: “Yes, tomorrow at 5 o’clock!"
 
Don’t we all have the tendency to become stressed by our human doings, then come home and take it out on our loved ones?

I find myself beating around the bush here, because all eyes are on me and I am trying to be tough and not buckle under the strain and yet I face the challenge of trying to fit back into my wifely/motherly clothes.

I know the transformation has to begin with myself, because everyone is expecting me to continue to act as strictly as I have been acting and therefore they are now pre-empting my actions and buffering themselves against the old batttleaxe.

I guess I have to change my paradigm. All shift happens in the mind first. I need to perceive myself as soft and gentle and loving, as a comforter and nurturer. I have to embrace my femininity allowing my feminine energy to resurface ( I have spent a large amount of time in my masculine energy of late). I need to spend time in nature, feel the true essence of who I am. I am not masculine or feminine. I am both. However my masculine energy has unbalanced my feminine energy. I am Spirit and I am divine and I am LOVE.

I am going to spend the next week centring myself, breathing, meditating on calming thoughts and activities. This is my week to re find my centre, the centre of the popped popcorn. And even though I won’t be able to jam myself back into the hard kernel. I still hold the memory of my pre-popped state, so it is still part of who I am.

So I bid you a fond farewell from a frazzled piece of popcorn

And wish you a week of being in balance

All my love

Nicolette

Marriage or Myth?

Marriage has taken a lot of knocks lately. Actually placed together with racism, feminism, exploitation of minority groups, etc, marriage rates quite low on the popularity stakes.

With all the bad press, I thought I'd revisit all the positive reasons I made the choice and commitment when I tied the knot 22 years ago.

Well, we all need a friend, right? We are all social creatures who need each other to bounce off, reflect and mirror.

We all need someone to share in the highs, but more especially to stand by or even carry us through the lows. How often do we want to run for the hills when the hard times hit, but doesn't experience show that after we have weathered life's storms, our relationships are stronger?

The loneliness factor - It's lovely being alone when we choose to be in the safety net of having a bunch of close friends who understand and respect our need for aloneness, however being totally alone and uncared for with no one to turn to, that's a plight not for the faint hearted

Two are stronger than one. When two stand steadfastly together in prayer or to see through a goal or vision, two are invincible.

Hell, you can't beat having someone to snuggle up with at night in bed, especially during the cold winter nights.

Better the spouse you got than the fantasy one! We all fantasise about Mr or Mrs perfect. We wouldn't be human if we never did that, but the truth be told, there are no perfect people. We're all the same. We are no more special than anyone else. No one else's marriage is better than ours. They may just work harder at theirs.

Marriage creates the opportunity to constantly work at building and perfecting the relationships within it eg. spousal relations and parent-child relations

It is the glue that prevents us splitting at the onset of every argument and gives us the determination to work things through.

Marriage is a caring, supportive partner ( which I am not always!)
Marriage is sharing a meal together, be it bread and baked beans
Marriage is always having a listener close at hand
Someone to talk to, laugh with, be quiet with...
Marriage is better than Radio 5
A partner gives us answers, maybe not always the answers we want to hear, but an honest answer (yes, those pants DO make your bum look big!)
A person to rub that aching limb
A shoulder to cry on
Someone to climb that mountain with
Someone to go on holiday with
Someone to share the adventure and sometimes torture of bringing up balanced, whole kids ( we try!)
Someone to be there when we're not (physically, emotionally or spiritually)
Marriage is about being in the present, living in the now and being real
Marriage is about getting dirty and cleaning up the mess
Sometimes it's a mud bath and other times it's the bubble bath at the end of a hard day's work

I love marriage and some days I don't and that's also o.k.

But I am glad that I took the plunge and invested myself in the forever until death do us part - kind of marriage.

I wouldn't do it any other way and I have no regrets.
I am glad that I made marriage my choice.

So to those of you who share my thoughts, may your days with your loved ones be long and may you savour the journey

in love and kindness for each other
until next week

Nicolette

To My Mom

Today is a very special day! It is the anniversary of the day my Mom was born.

I thought it would be fitting to pay special tribute to the woman who so selflessly cared for, protected and guided me through my vulnerable years. The person who demands nothing from me, but always hopes for my well being and happiness. The special person who is always just a prayer and a thought away.

Being a mom myself, has made me even more appreciative of the sacrifices and the hurts that all moms endure.

So here goes...

Mom

You were always there for me... physically, emotionally and spiritually
You comforted me when I fell and hurt myself and all your kisses and hugs made my pain subside
Your gentle way of listening to my struggles and thrashing through them with me made me feel validated and able to rise above them
You always believed me and in me
You taught me to believe in myself and depend on myself
You set an example of how when you want to achieve something, you stick steadfastly to your goal until you achieve it
You taught me to think for myself and not follow the crowd.
You caused me to know that there are no normal people out there, we just all are
You gave me my independence and never tried to clip my wings because it was hard for you to let go
You sacrificed buying yourself new clothes in order to clothe me
You made all my clothes which were specially sewn with love and care
You always played games with me
And we shared laughter
You taught me the value of saving, so we could go on family holidays
You always made sure that there was a bit of money over for the pleasantries in life: a live show, an ice cream, putt-putt
You enthused me with your love of nature and of growing things
Even though you often suffered pain, you took me for divine walks in nature
You stoically hid your pain and fears from me and I never saw you cry
actually only twice...
Once was when you smacked me for something I never did and your tears were those of regret
(you taught me to say "sorry")
the other time was when I came to your bedside when you were fighting that awful virus, coxacci, and then your tears were tears of despair ( you taught me that you were vulnerable and real)
You taught me to pick myself up and put a smile on my face
to always remember that there were those less fortunate than myself
You helped to open my eyes to knowlege of the world around me regards geography, politics and spirituality
You gave me a childhood and for this I am eternally grateful
You allowed me playtime and time to dream
You patiently helped me with my homework
We shelled peas together, baked together, sewed together

Mom, you are an exceptional mother!

I want you to know that you are so worthy of love and respect and kindness and compassion
and you are allowed to cry. It doesn't mean you are weak. You are human and you too have feelings.
Tears are wonderful expressions of joy, sadness, even ecstacy and wonderment.

I love you, Mom!

And I wish you an especially wonderful Birthday today and every other day

To all those of you who are parents, I know how hard we try to be perfect and strong, but know this, "We all do the best job we know how to do and that is great"

I love you all and wish you a week of quiet reflection and self appreciation

Remember to tell yourselves what a great job you are doing and what an awesome person you are!

love
Nicolette