Whose Reality is it Anyway?

A friend remarked, the other day, that she’s a realist and she sees things as they really are, which really provoked my challenging mind into overtime. You see, I have been labelled before as a ‘hopeless optimist’ by one of my client’s husbands, which I have to mention, has become one of my ardent readers.

You see, I really don’t believe in one truth, but rather many interchangeable truths, as you well know, if you’ve been reading my blogs. Don’t we create our very own environment by the thought processes we initiate? Don’t we often buy into whatever society has conditioned us to believe? Is it normal to suffer depression and take medical drugs to suppress it? Are we just victims of circumstance?

I ask you to step out of your preconditioned, media contaminated brain just for one second and step into my reality, just for a few minutes.

Thoughts are energy and that has been proven by double blind tests as well as by Dr M. Emoto with his ‘The  Secret Life of Water.’

The power of our thoughts is huge. Thoughts can be like guns. They can slay the enemy or they can heal. Which thoughts do you choose. What is your reality?

The only reality I know is that I am a spiritual being having a physical experience. I have been born into this world and I know that at some point my spirit will escape my body at the time of my physical death. I do not fear death as I know that spirit which is pure energy, can never be destroyed. It can only be transferred into another form.

All the rest of the events between my birth and death are changeable and determined by the choices I make on the journey. I know that I can choose to be positive and happy by selecting positive thoughts. I utilise this technique on a daily basis. I have literally turned a depressive state into an extremely happy one by choosing to do so.

If you’ve never done this, you have got to try. It does take work and determination, but if you are prepared to seek its powerful outcome, you will most certainly become a master at it.

I remember a year ago. It was the day before my 49^th birthday. I was home alone as my boys were all partaking in a wake boarding event which was going to keep them from me on the day of my birthday also. The prospect of a gift was dismal to say the least and I had expressed my wish to have a statue of a Buddhist monk which was being ignored. I can remember dragging myself out of bed that morning and feeling terribly depressed. I felt unloved, alone and totally in my own little pity party.

I made a choice to not dwell on my misery and to do what I could to change the status quo, so I got out my camera, as I was needing some photos for a workshop I was giving and engaged myself in trying on different outfits and makeup, setting up my camera to take multiple shots with the built in automatic timer. The whole exercise probably lasted an hour, but at the end of it I had created some really good photos and was starting to feel empowered.

I then phoned a friend, who is a very good photographer, and asked her if she could take some additional photos of me with some live models. That arranged for a little later, I headed out to buy my statue, my gift from the boys to me. My day ended by drinking gorgeous red wine with my friend and her husband. I returned home elated and full of joy.

Replay the DVD and input some different data. I could have stumbled to the kitchen and reached for some comfort food to ease the pain. Indulging in my chocolate binge, I could have loathed myself for my pathetic weakness and depressing life. After all, no one understood me or cared about me. If they did they would not be enjoying their passions but bowing to mine. There are so many interchangeable truths here. I’ll leave you to imagine up the rest: slitting my wrists, taking an overdose, blaming the world and venting to a friend about my life in tatters.

Now, all that said. I challenge you if you’ve never tried it. Go ahead and plan a happy day for yourself. You deserve it.

Well, that’s my reality anyway and I’m sticking to it

Love you awesome being of light

Nicolette

www.nicolettelodge.blogspot.com

nickel@global.co.za

SOUL MATE

How many hours, days, months even lifetimes does humankind spend searching for this ‘one and only’ special soul who is the perfect fit, the missing piece of the puzzle?

How we dream and fantasize about our perfect partner, the one with whom we’ll never disagree on anything. Isn’t the soul mate in our dreams really a carbon copy of ourselves? Don’t we often wish we had that partner who can read our minds, who has exactly the same interests, whose on-days and off-days coincide exactly with ours? Perhaps some of us would believe that our soul mates aren’t entitled to off-days? After all they’re perfect just like us.

Actually, I kind of disagree.

I believe our soul mates are the very opposite of ourselves. They are our complimentary equal opposite or if we’re the yin, then they’re the yang that completes the circle.

Our soul mates aren’t here on earth to agree with us ad nauseum. They are our mirrors, the ones who reflect for us our very flaws and highlight for us what we still have to work on in ourselves. They’re the ones who bring our missing personality traits to the party and show us our lack. Our soul mates cause us to grow, if we’re up for the task and that’s why I believe in committed relationships, because they cause us to stick out the hardships and difficult times and refine our personalities and evolve into better beings.

I believe we have more than one soul mate, in fact we have lots, and they can be of the same sex as ourselves too.

I believe that where soul mates highlight our weaknesses for us, causing us to grow, friends tend to cosily agree with us and although it feels nice for our egos , they don’t challenge us to evolve.

It’s for this reason that I have very few friends and many, many soul mates scattered all over the globe.

I love that my soul mates are mostly strong whole people that are unafraid of speaking their truth and unafraid of causing my growth as much as I am catalyst in causing theirs. They are incredible souls who are unafraid of working on themselves and even in many cases where we are separated by miles, they continue to look for challenges and opportunities to cause their own growth.

We have an unwritten understanding, soul to soul, that doesn’t have the neediness of friendship and regular tea parties. We are not co-dependent. Our love doesn’t fade because we don’t pick up the phone. Our love is eternal and we know that we’re there for one another without the need to know the day-to-day events in each other’s calendars. We continue to grow relentlessly on our separate paths and are always surprised when we do catch up how we have seemingly evolved similarly through very different circumstances.

We know that we are connected by the soul of the universe and that what happens to one of us happens to us all.

We communicate often without the need for words. We just send our love through thoughts and intentions and that is enough.

I don’t need friends often, but I certainly need and appreciate my soul mates.

So, perhaps you’re one of those people who’ve been searching and searching for that perfect one, with whom your life will be ‘Cinderella and Prince Charming’. I challenge you to wake up and take stock of the very people in your midst and re-evaluate the worth of those whom you may have been ready to discard for those ‘like-minded friends’ who like the icing on the cake, look so sweet and perfect but are bad for your health causing you to stagnate in your comfort and complacency.

Open your eyes and acknowledge your true soul mates. They’re all around you, and be brave to the task of self-work and discovery. It is an awesome journey.

Have a fabulous week of discerning who are your friends and who are your soul mates.

I love you
Nicolette

What I really, really Want

Being the eve of my 50th birthday, I have had a whole lot of time to mull over what I really, really want for my birthday this year.

I have toyed with the idea of a big party which seems to be the societal norm, but have shied away from all the hype and pressurised expectations. Calvin, my 19 year old insists that it is a date that needs to be celebrated with a memorable, large event. It is not by coincidence that he is studying P.R. and Events Management.

Those who know me, understand my need to connect one-on-one with people, even though Charles once referred to me as " a strange chick", which I took as a compliment.

My languages of love are touch and spending time with special people, so the idea of having a loud crowd would leave me feeling quite alone with my senses bombarded. I would feel like I was standing on a busy highway trying desperately to meditate, which is often what I feel when I am just trying to find my inner peace and stilling the crowd in my head. Ha, ha, ha...

So, two days ago, I was asked by Chris and my two sons, Calvin and Dylan what I wanted for my birthday. My answer initially was: " I don't want anything", to which Chris replied: "That's easy!"

I've been painting the walls in our home lately, which I experience as a kind of therapy or meditation and have had much time to mull over what I really, really want. I say want because these are not needs just wants that would please my personality and probably stroke my ego.

So, having found new clarity from my painting meditations, I came up with exactly what I want and told my boys the following:-

From my husband, Chris I have requested a letter. All I want to hear from him is what he has on his heart. It doesn't have to be a love letter or drooling words of praise. It just needs to be a true reflection of whatever lies within, a communication of his feelings about himself, his life, his perceptions, etc. It needs to be honest and open.

From Calvin, I have requested time together to talk about what lies on his heart. All I want from him is some uninterrupted time. You know, we can sell our time, but we can never buy it back again. Once it has gone, it has gone forever.

And from Dylan, my precious youngest son of 14, whose love language is gifts and who is a keen shopper, I have requested him choose me a lipstick. He really does have an eye for selecting just the right shade. Dylan whooped with joy when I told him this request as he said he got off lightly with the easiest task.

Then to my friends and soul mates, there is nothing more heart warming for me than the gift of your sweet presence. So my home is open tomorrow to those of you who wish to pop in and give of your time. I will supply the food and drinks. And please, please do not bring material gifts or even worse cut flowers, as that would make me really sad. I love to see flowers smiling happily in the garden but not decapitated in a vase.

So from a woman who really, really knows what she wants and is not afraid to ask for it,
I bid you 'au revoir' and a week invested in mulling over what it is that is meaningful to you.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you want!

love
Nicolette 

Challenge Your Fears!

We've got to challenge our fears, because when we do, we bring to the surface those very traits that we need to do work on eg. addiction, hatred, racism, inferiority etc. and we bring awareness to the very lessons we are meant to learn. We need to embrace our fears with an openness and a trust that the situation we find ourselves in is perfectly staged and perfectly timed. We need to recruit wisdom to view our choices objectively, to see things differently and evolve spiritually.

To do this we need to be in the present. We have to remain free from blame and guilt. We need to be brave and willing to go within ourselves to unearth these dark secrets and bring them to the light so that we can question and examine them without prejudice.

We may feel fearful that we don't have a partner, or that something terrible is going to befall a loved one. We may fear not having enough money to see us into old age. We may fear ageing. Some of us may even fear not having enough experience or not meeting a parent's expectations. The list of fears is immense and specific to each individual soul's purpose.

However know this, that your individual karma that you have brought into this world, will attract specific life lessons that you will need to overcome in this lifetime. So, don't run away. Don't try and hide. Face your fears full on and know that you're not alone. All you need to do is ask for help. Pray for guidance and know that your prayers are always heard and always answered and trust that the divine powers that assist each and everyone of us will guide us and help us in making a more conscious choice. If we again make our choice out of fear, we will be given further chances to challenge the same fear over and over until we arrive at the point where we choose love, forgiveness and trust.

Guaranteed, if you face any fear you will find 'lack of love' as the root cause.

Take the fear of being alone. The reason we fear is because we are not open to connecting with our true nature which is love and is divine. We are created in God's likeness and therefore are spiritually connected. We are love. We will never be alone. We are surrounded by God's helpers in the spiritual realm. We just need to be open and present to experience it.

If we face our fear of being unloved, the truth is that we do not love ourselves and that we think of ourselves as unworthy of love. It is this fear that we show the world and it is that which we attract back to ourselves. We need to source our inner well of unconditional love and express love to ourselves and all of humankind because what we sow we reap.Then without trying or seeking it love will flow into our lives.

Don't self-confident people seem to attract success, luck and profit to themselves whereas a fearful person with low self esteem seems to attract failure and calamity? Compare the two. The confident person is well centred and connected from within. The insecure person feels a need to seek attention and praise and encouragement from external sources to complete themselves. They generally are the ones who blame and feel jealousy, envy and all host of negative feelings towards themselves and others as they try to access their power from without. Low self-esteem is a lack of self-love. It is the absence of connecting with that very essence of who we are which is love.

Fear of death! How can we fear death. It is the one occurrence of which we are all assured. We came from source and we will return to source, each and everyone of us. We came from love and we will return to love. We are not separate from love. We are surrounded by it. We just need to make the choice to walk in it and not fear, which is just the absence of it.

What of fearing being overpowered by someone? When we fear anything we create a negative charge for ourselves which attracts the very thing we fear. So by fearing being bullied, we create within ourselves a perfect victim and we invite the universe to send us all manner of bullies and abusers, so that we can learn the lesson which continues to challenge us. We remain disempowered because of the lack of love. When we fear, we are not living in the present. We are living in an unreal time out of the present, projecting ourselves with our thoughts into the future. We cannot fear when we are focused in the present. Right at this very moment as we stand here on earth, we are complete and whole. If we do not try and second guess the future or try and blame the past, we are perfect. There is nothing more that needs to be added to any of us to make us who we are. We just are.

Start to notice the very things that you are attracting to yourself, the kinds of people, the circumstances, your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself: "What is it that I fear? If I am more than just my physical body and my five senses, if I am a divinely guided spiritual being, who has divine assistance just a prayer call away, if I am love then fear does not exist. Fear is a manufactured misperception. The only thing that is real is love."



So challenge your fears objectively. Stare them in the face and watch them dissolve with your new found understanding. Have compassion for yourself as you pass through the refinery of your own making.You can choose to learn life's lessons through fear thereby creating more bad karma for yourself or you can choose to learn through wisdom and knowledge. Choose to become conscious by choosing love.

I love you precious soul

Have a great week
Nicolette

Every Little Bit

Today I feel small and insignificant. Do you ever feel like you're just not making any impact, that your playing in this huge universe is making no inroads at all?

If I die today, would I have effected any change amongst humanity? What good did I do? Who benefited from my being here? Was my life a testimony to others to strive to be the incredible players that they are? Am I doing my utmost to be the best I can be? Or will all of this end up being in vain?

Three occurrences happened to me when I switched on my computer this morning.

Stacey sent me a beautiful e-mail video, titled: 'Don't judge a book by its cover' in which a very large and scruffy looking teenager auditioning for 'Britains Got Talent', picks up the microphone and belts out an incredible piece of opera, to a tumultuous standing ovation.

Then I opened a mail from my niece, Hollee, about how often we have our eyes on what everyone else is doing and achieving instead of nurturing and tending what we've got. It's not about the grass being greener on the other side, which it actually is. The lesson is this: The grass is greener where you water it!

So, the onus is on each of us, to not sit back complacently and complain, but rather to make use of our god given talents and work on refining them and honing them with repetitive attempts until we create something of refined beauty and awe. The seeds of potential we have all been given will not grow unless we water them diligently.

And the last piece of inspiration came from Pierre in the form of a quote:
                                          
"Do your little bit of good where you are;
it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world      
                                                                       -     Desmond Tutu

So, with new found inspiration, I dust myself off and remind myself that everyone who ever climbed to the top of the ladder, did so with many repeated failed attempts and perhaps little encouragement from the side lines. Every one of us has to do the work ourselves. There are no shortcuts. We cannot pay someone else to water our grass for us. It is our life and we will reap what we sow and nurture. What we get out is exactly what we put in.

Whether it is our relationships, our work, our passions or our ministries, we are only as good as the amount of time we have invested therein.

Keep doing good! Keep on believing in your dreams and keep on practising!
Remember, Gary Player said: "The more I practise, the luckier I get."

And let's try not to focus on our destinations, but rather on where we put our next foot, just little bit by little bit. I hope you feel encouraged to keep taking it just one rung at a time to the top of your ladder.

Tell yourself that you believe in you
Give yourself the thumbs up!
and keep on practising!

Have an exciting week of reaping the fruits of your hard labour or just keeping your head to the grindstone. Wherever you're at, is exactly where you're meant to be

love
Nicolette