I'm still dwelling on the subject of truth.
It seems that the simple art of being undeniably, unashamedly and exactly what we each are, is one of mankind's most difficult challenges.
The 'truth' is undeniably the only way, so why do we battle to live it?
We hide behind our veneer of kindness and compassion for the other as an excuse to not tell them what is. We pride ourselves in our suppression and our watered down sugar coated stories.
The truth is we don't lie to protect the other. We lie because we fear being condemned, judged or victimised. We lie because we are people pleasers. We lie because we fear confrontation.
When you have the courage to speak your truth, you are humble. You are without ego because you are laying your soul bare. You are inviting others to see exactly who and what you are. The spin off to this is that you give others permission to be honest and humble too. By humbling yourself you drop your mask and others no longer feel afraid of you. When you take that first step into 100% honesty you encourage and allow others to step forward and do the same. As long as we keep on lying we perpetuate the endless cycle of fear.
Think about it. Why does mankind obsess about making contracts and promises with one another? It is because he fears being cheated on. Why does he fear being cheated? Because he knows how he hides and conceals the truth from others, so he perceives that as he sows so he reaps. When each of us becomes brave and honest and unashamedly stands up for what we believe, we will no longer fear being lied to by others. We will have no need to place our trust in others.
We have become masters at smiling and agreeing with our adversaries whilst we mask our frustrations. Our body language and tone actually don't hide it. But when we are cross questioned about our non verbal cues we sugar coat our replies and smooth over the situations with "It's fine". We consent to doing favours for others because we're afraid of displeasing them by saying ''no''. We deny ourselves and we think we are being so pious. We lie with a brave face and the world applauds us.
We feel we are doing the world a service by denying ourselves. WE ARE NOT! We make ourselves ill, we block the flow of love, we rob others of their life lessons. Humanity is stuck because no one rewards honesty anymore.
I heard Reeva Steenkamp's father on Carte Blanche last night saying that all he wants is for the truth to be spoken. My heart ached for him as I wanted to yell: "Yes humanity, you, me, him, us, they, we all need to tell the truth. Stop lying!
Do it for yourself. You don't want to be lied to. Why do you think another person would prefer your half truth to the whole story? Don't deceive yourself that withholding the truth from anyone is for their highest good.
Dispense with your ego, your feelings of worthlessness, pride or self righteousness and be who you are.
You are worthy of being heard. You are worthy of being trustworthy. You are worthy. Drop your shame and say what you feel. If the only reason you are clinging to your relationship is because of the secrets you hold, then your relationship is a lie. You are living an illusion. You will only have a real and meaningful relationship when it is based on authenticity.
I don't know about you but I would far rather you tell me exactly what you think than flatter me with your sugar coated lies. The only thing you can hurt with your honesty is my ego. And ego is not who I am.
Now's the time to take the first step. Place your trust in Spirit/God. There is no harm in saying how you feel and later changing your point of view. Your expressing exactly what is inside of you helps all of us evolve. We are mirrors for each other, so don't switch off your light. Let it illuminate you so that we all can experience that which we are and grow.
I encourage you to find your courage this week and be unashamedly YOU.
with tender love
Nicolette
Monday 25 February 2013
Monday 18 February 2013
The Uncomfortable Truth
I have been pondering about whether it is necessary to voice one's feelings when you're upset or whether you should be able to express them inwardly, working them to a place of comfort, by exposing the ego to its games. Well I found my answers in 'Honest to God', by co authors Neale Donald Walsch and Brad Blanton.
The book deals with brutal honesty and is quite an eye opener for most of us who have been so carefully conditioned by our upbringings that we scarcely know when we are being truthful and when we're not. Our religions have taught us to be nice, tactful and politically correct at whatever the cost. The problem with that is that as you smile through gritted teeth the anger goes inward and hence causes illness to self, suppressed righteousness and unforgiveness or frustration due to obedience to a moral dictate.
I was reasoning with myself that I should be able to work through any resistance to external factors because that is caused by my perception that I am right and others are wrong. If I don't impose any feeling of righteousness or set expectations I can't be offended or hurt, can I?
Brad Blanton disagrees. He says it is vital to speak 'your truth' because that is all it is. We need to open up and confess what thoughts, emotions or information we are holding within because by withholding our feelings and thoughts we are lying. We are lying to ourselves and to others.
If you feel cross then you need to be cross and communicate this instead of playing the 'I'm so Fine and I'm Mrs Nice' DVD. If we wear the 'Mr Nice' label because that is the right thing to do, then we are lying to our authentic selves. We are not being true.
Feelings are the language of the soul and therefore need to be given expression.
It is of vital importance to spit it all out and not have fear about whether it offends or hurts or is uncomfortable for the other. You must say it and you must stick around until you have worked the truth into a place of understanding and comfort. That's the growth part.
How often do we witness people venting their pent up rage, having suppressed it for way too long; and after they have spat out all their fury or confessions they pack their bags and leave? It's the staying and working through the resultant emotions that is the important part. We need to be able to hurt someone with the truth and then stick with them and work it out together. You see that is |LOVE.
The reason people don't have intimacy in their relationships is because they're lying to one another. Humanity is seriously challenged because they are so conditioned to lie and deceive one another. Our politicians do it. Our parents do it. Our teachers are doing it. Everyone is doing it. We all lie. We lie to others and we lie to ourselves. We are so used to doing it that we don't even perceive we are doing it anymore.
We think we are being spiritually evolved by denying feelings of anger, jealousy, resentment, etc. We don't realise that we are lying to ourselves. We convince ourselves that we only tell white lies because we want to protect others from suffering. We choose to withhold truth because it is our way of not having to be accountable for the assured meltdown of another. But the real reason we hide from the truth is fear and fear is the suppression of love.
We spend our lives making people promise to be honest with us because of an inherent lack of honesty within ourselves. If we want to trust others then it is time to become trustworthy and honest with ourselves.
I now realise if I want to reach my soul then I need to open up and release all my repressed feelings. I need to shed the baggage I've been storing so that LOVE can fill me up. I need to speak up and be brave in my confrontations and work through them until I access my peace.
If you want to find LOVE and if you crave intimacy in your relationships then you need to be 100% honest!
Start admitting what you're thinking or feeling to yourself and others. Stop making promises to others that you'll keep their secrets. Become an open book and watch your confidence and happiness blossom.
Enjoy your week ahead!
lots of love
Nicolette
The book deals with brutal honesty and is quite an eye opener for most of us who have been so carefully conditioned by our upbringings that we scarcely know when we are being truthful and when we're not. Our religions have taught us to be nice, tactful and politically correct at whatever the cost. The problem with that is that as you smile through gritted teeth the anger goes inward and hence causes illness to self, suppressed righteousness and unforgiveness or frustration due to obedience to a moral dictate.
I was reasoning with myself that I should be able to work through any resistance to external factors because that is caused by my perception that I am right and others are wrong. If I don't impose any feeling of righteousness or set expectations I can't be offended or hurt, can I?
Brad Blanton disagrees. He says it is vital to speak 'your truth' because that is all it is. We need to open up and confess what thoughts, emotions or information we are holding within because by withholding our feelings and thoughts we are lying. We are lying to ourselves and to others.
If you feel cross then you need to be cross and communicate this instead of playing the 'I'm so Fine and I'm Mrs Nice' DVD. If we wear the 'Mr Nice' label because that is the right thing to do, then we are lying to our authentic selves. We are not being true.
Feelings are the language of the soul and therefore need to be given expression.
It is of vital importance to spit it all out and not have fear about whether it offends or hurts or is uncomfortable for the other. You must say it and you must stick around until you have worked the truth into a place of understanding and comfort. That's the growth part.
How often do we witness people venting their pent up rage, having suppressed it for way too long; and after they have spat out all their fury or confessions they pack their bags and leave? It's the staying and working through the resultant emotions that is the important part. We need to be able to hurt someone with the truth and then stick with them and work it out together. You see that is |LOVE.
The reason people don't have intimacy in their relationships is because they're lying to one another. Humanity is seriously challenged because they are so conditioned to lie and deceive one another. Our politicians do it. Our parents do it. Our teachers are doing it. Everyone is doing it. We all lie. We lie to others and we lie to ourselves. We are so used to doing it that we don't even perceive we are doing it anymore.
We think we are being spiritually evolved by denying feelings of anger, jealousy, resentment, etc. We don't realise that we are lying to ourselves. We convince ourselves that we only tell white lies because we want to protect others from suffering. We choose to withhold truth because it is our way of not having to be accountable for the assured meltdown of another. But the real reason we hide from the truth is fear and fear is the suppression of love.
We spend our lives making people promise to be honest with us because of an inherent lack of honesty within ourselves. If we want to trust others then it is time to become trustworthy and honest with ourselves.
I now realise if I want to reach my soul then I need to open up and release all my repressed feelings. I need to shed the baggage I've been storing so that LOVE can fill me up. I need to speak up and be brave in my confrontations and work through them until I access my peace.
If you want to find LOVE and if you crave intimacy in your relationships then you need to be 100% honest!
Start admitting what you're thinking or feeling to yourself and others. Stop making promises to others that you'll keep their secrets. Become an open book and watch your confidence and happiness blossom.
Enjoy your week ahead!
lots of love
Nicolette
Monday 11 February 2013
Trust like a girl
How many times have you overheard someone say: "I have prayed and prayed for xyz and God never answers my prayers"?
Well I was reading Gary Zukav's book, 'Soul Stories' this weekend and there was a story he shared that resonated with me.
It was a story about a little girl who had so much faith. She asked God that it would snow on her birthday. Her parents were concerned because her birthday was in the middle of summer and they knew there was no chance of their daughter having her wishes realised.
The day dawned and it did not snow. The little girl was happy and had a wonderful birthday. When her parents asked her if she was upset with God for not answering her prayer, she declared that God did answer. He said: "No".
What an amazing lesson from a babe. It is a lesson firstly of acceptance. And secondly it is a lesson of faith. It is saying, "Whatever the outcome, God, I trust your decision, because you know what is best for all of us."
If you consider the number of times you have requested a possible outcome that God declined then just be grateful that God knows best and that you're not in charge of all of earth's decisions, because if all of us had our prayers answered all the time, this world would be an utter mess.
One man's prayer for no rain because it would spoil his moonlight dinner date would be counter to the man who prayed for rain so that his crops didn't die.
It's funny how we assume to know, from our limited perspective, what is in our best interest.
It really is when we surrender to God's perfect will without questioning or complaining or assuming to know better, that life becomes lighter and happier. When we can accept the inevitable outcome with the simplicity of the little girl, we are living in presence. We honour God because we have complete trust in the evolution of our souls as we handle the experiences that life dishes up for us.
We don't assume to know better. We just live each moment as it happens and delight in the ups and the downs because we know when we're down that our next moment will be up again.
You see trust doesn't mean that you are believing in your perfectly engineered outcome. That is ego. Trust is surrendering your ego and having complete faith that everything will work out just fine. Faith is not in human endeavour. Faith is in God/Spirit. Faith is about being flexible to the flow and the rhythm of the universe and trusting that God will equip you with all the strength and power that you need to cope with your experiences.
It's a simple lesson, but a powerful one.
My prayer for you is that you can embrace this truth and have the faith of a small child this week.
richest blessings of love and joy
Nicolette
Well I was reading Gary Zukav's book, 'Soul Stories' this weekend and there was a story he shared that resonated with me.
It was a story about a little girl who had so much faith. She asked God that it would snow on her birthday. Her parents were concerned because her birthday was in the middle of summer and they knew there was no chance of their daughter having her wishes realised.
The day dawned and it did not snow. The little girl was happy and had a wonderful birthday. When her parents asked her if she was upset with God for not answering her prayer, she declared that God did answer. He said: "No".
What an amazing lesson from a babe. It is a lesson firstly of acceptance. And secondly it is a lesson of faith. It is saying, "Whatever the outcome, God, I trust your decision, because you know what is best for all of us."
If you consider the number of times you have requested a possible outcome that God declined then just be grateful that God knows best and that you're not in charge of all of earth's decisions, because if all of us had our prayers answered all the time, this world would be an utter mess.
One man's prayer for no rain because it would spoil his moonlight dinner date would be counter to the man who prayed for rain so that his crops didn't die.
It's funny how we assume to know, from our limited perspective, what is in our best interest.
It really is when we surrender to God's perfect will without questioning or complaining or assuming to know better, that life becomes lighter and happier. When we can accept the inevitable outcome with the simplicity of the little girl, we are living in presence. We honour God because we have complete trust in the evolution of our souls as we handle the experiences that life dishes up for us.
We don't assume to know better. We just live each moment as it happens and delight in the ups and the downs because we know when we're down that our next moment will be up again.
You see trust doesn't mean that you are believing in your perfectly engineered outcome. That is ego. Trust is surrendering your ego and having complete faith that everything will work out just fine. Faith is not in human endeavour. Faith is in God/Spirit. Faith is about being flexible to the flow and the rhythm of the universe and trusting that God will equip you with all the strength and power that you need to cope with your experiences.
It's a simple lesson, but a powerful one.
My prayer for you is that you can embrace this truth and have the faith of a small child this week.
richest blessings of love and joy
Nicolette
Monday 4 February 2013
The Circle of Life
Today I announce the exciting news that I am to be a grandmother this year. One little soul is earthbound and has begun its growth period in the safety of her mother's womb whilst the world around her is afluster. "This wasn't planned"' they say. "It's too young", they say. "How can we be adequately prepared?" they ask.
If there's one thing I have absolute surety of, it is that life has a pattern and a dance of its own. Everything is and everything will be just as it is meant. The circle turns and life is given and it is taken away and no hesitation or doubt in the minds of men can alter or stop the wheel of life turning.
I stand firm in my faith that everything will be alright. I delight in the new bond that has already formed between my granddaughter and me. How do I know that this precious being is a granddaughter? I just know. And I already see the great relationship we have with each other. I am going to be an awesome grandmother. And I will be because I have already decided that. I have a vision of a loving bond and a close relationship shared.
Do you know that your walk on earth is either heaven or hell? Your earthly experience is decided by what you entertain with your mind. You choose what you feed your mind: fear and negativity or love and faith.
No one ever said that life was predictable and risk free. The very nature of life is creative energy that is hip and happening. Life is always changing and for us to be happy we need to accept and embrace that. Our joy is dependent on our ability to cope with change. If we want a safe and risk free life then we are chasing a fantasy. Anyway why would we want our future to be the same as what we are experiencing right now? How boring! I would consider that hell.
Osho says in his book, 'Intimacy' if you want a safe, risk free relationship then marry a dead person. Real people are evolving. We all do. And thank goodness we do because then there is still hope for humanity.
I don't know about you, but I like to wake up in the morning with the excitement of a child because I don't know what life has in store for me. I am up for the challenge. I am not a whiner crying: "Why me Lord? Why me?" I am standing on the mountain top screaming: "Try me Lord. Try me". I'm taking what life has for me with both hands because this is my chance. This is the life I've been given and I'm making the most of it. This is my heaven.
So come on. If you're brave enough and willing to risk failure for the opportunity to experience a lifetime of experiences both pleasurable and painful; then jump onto the roundabout of life as it turns and let's experience life as it is meant to be.
Hold on and enjoy the ride!
from the heart
Nicolette
If there's one thing I have absolute surety of, it is that life has a pattern and a dance of its own. Everything is and everything will be just as it is meant. The circle turns and life is given and it is taken away and no hesitation or doubt in the minds of men can alter or stop the wheel of life turning.
I stand firm in my faith that everything will be alright. I delight in the new bond that has already formed between my granddaughter and me. How do I know that this precious being is a granddaughter? I just know. And I already see the great relationship we have with each other. I am going to be an awesome grandmother. And I will be because I have already decided that. I have a vision of a loving bond and a close relationship shared.
Do you know that your walk on earth is either heaven or hell? Your earthly experience is decided by what you entertain with your mind. You choose what you feed your mind: fear and negativity or love and faith.
No one ever said that life was predictable and risk free. The very nature of life is creative energy that is hip and happening. Life is always changing and for us to be happy we need to accept and embrace that. Our joy is dependent on our ability to cope with change. If we want a safe and risk free life then we are chasing a fantasy. Anyway why would we want our future to be the same as what we are experiencing right now? How boring! I would consider that hell.
Osho says in his book, 'Intimacy' if you want a safe, risk free relationship then marry a dead person. Real people are evolving. We all do. And thank goodness we do because then there is still hope for humanity.
I don't know about you, but I like to wake up in the morning with the excitement of a child because I don't know what life has in store for me. I am up for the challenge. I am not a whiner crying: "Why me Lord? Why me?" I am standing on the mountain top screaming: "Try me Lord. Try me". I'm taking what life has for me with both hands because this is my chance. This is the life I've been given and I'm making the most of it. This is my heaven.
So come on. If you're brave enough and willing to risk failure for the opportunity to experience a lifetime of experiences both pleasurable and painful; then jump onto the roundabout of life as it turns and let's experience life as it is meant to be.
Hold on and enjoy the ride!
from the heart
Nicolette
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