I know this is a sensitive subject, something none of us really want to dive into and confront. We try and convince ourselves that it is something that happens to other people. We hide and pretend, we deny and fake it, but underlying all these games of pretence lies the inevitable. We become our parents even though we rarely admit it.
Let's face it. Ageing is not for sissies. But it is happening to all of us without exception. From the minute we are born, the clock is ticking backwards to our death.
I share with you in the hope that I entice you out of the misperception that to age is to pass your sell-by-date and to lose value in a society that is fixated on youth. I wish to empower you to be exactly what and who you are without pretence, shame or fear.
So here goes....
As we age we shrink. We can go into blissful denial and wear shoes with higher heels, but unless we exercise to reverse the process gravity inflicts on us; shrink we will, as our inter-vertebral discs lose their plumpness. My core strength training I do with my clients, strengthens the muscles that support my skeletal structure. So in essence I am building an anti-gravitation strength. Strength training also helps to build my bone density. So, the training I do is servicing my Earth vehicle, my body. I can't trade this one in when it is finished, so I intend nurturing it for the duration of my stay here on Earth.
My hair has changed from brown to grey. Do I fight it and continue colouring it to a dried out fake, yellow-gold or do I allow it to be its lustrous mix of pewter and silver? Healthy hair is winning the competition. Also I have been worrying about the amount of peroxide I have plastered on top of my scalp for the last 28 years. It really is very close to my brain. Oops! Maybe that's why I am losing my marbles, which may not be such a bad thing. Ha, ha...
Memory loss is another side effect of ageing. I tend to call my sons by each other's names. On the bright side of it though, if we can all lose the recording of all the past events to which we remain entangled, whoopee!! I say roll on dementia. If we can forget all that happened yesterday then we can live as nature intended, rooted in the NOW.
I definitely have experienced a drop in libido. Sorry guys! This affects us all. Just because you don't do it as often as you used to doesn't measure whether you're a success or failure. Love is not measured by how you perform, how often, whether you can get it up, your size, how many orgasms you can achieve and so on.This new experience is the catalyst in strengthening my friendship with my husband.
Vaginal dryness is yet another sign I'm ageing. This one is easily solved and it is not KY Jelly. Having a bottle of a good massage oil in my bedside table is just what the tantra experts recommend. Actually it makes the whole experience that much more sense-sational.
Eyesight. It's waning. But on the bright side, I have cute reading glasses stowed in every conceivable compartment, handbag and drawer. They come in so many different fun colours and styles. They're cheap and available and so sexy too.
Headaches and migraines. OK, so now we really do have a legitimate excuse as to "not tonight darling".
But on a serious note,I have become more careful in the choices I make with the foods I eat. When I eliminate the hormonal triggers such as wheat, sugar, dairy, preservatives and caffeine in my diet I enjoy magnificent ailment-free health.
Weight gain is another side effect of ageing. I noticed the increase in body fat around my midriff as I reached 40. But a few changes and attention to my diet meant that I was able to prevent what most people accept as the inevitable. I became more in tune with my bodys' lowered need for as much nutrition as I become slightly less active. I also realise that whilst I was young my body could handle a lot of punishment, but as I am now in my 50's it is wise to start taking greater care of myself, especially because my aim is to live out my days on Earth as ailment-free as possible. I have found that to watch my food combinations is key to not piling on weight. By this I mean I don't eat complex carbohydrates at the same meal as protein. I also avoid mixing simple sugars like fruit with other food. I eat fruit as a stand alone snack.
Waking more frequently to urinate in the night. Upside - get the body moving so as not to feel so stiff in the morning.
Some mornings my joints feel a bit achy and stiff. This is definitely in relation to how much wine or acidic food I have been consuming in my diet.
Loss of strength and power. I started to notice the loss of power in my muscles when I reached 50. I don't have the strength I used to, but the upside is I have learned the art of delegation. I stopped trying to do everything myself. And that is liberating.
Grumpiness and irritability. Some days I catch myself and notice that I feel like an old bitch. But then I remind myself I have a choice to take life as an emotional roller coaster or to use humour and laugh at myself. Laughter really is an effective tool in switching modes from negative to positive.
Anyhow, I think you get my point. There are a hundred new events taking place in my body and of course my mind, but I am equally creative in how I handle them. Each new day is an opportunity to forgive and accept the unavoidable, negotiate and make changes to that over which I have some control and have faith that everything is just as it is meant to be.
I wish you a week of freedom from self-inflicted suffering and happy ageing
lots of love
Nicolette
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