Less is More

I have had such a spiritual education in the past few weeks. Spirit has been nudging me to the self realisation of this ever so simple fact that the less I become and the more my ego is diminished, the greater my capacity to be my inherent spirit self. The less of ego I entertain, the more of Spirit I am. The less I try and control, the more satiated I am in blissful being.

Wow! I spent the weekend taking a reality check after having been on such an immense spiritual high. The reason is I attended our annual A.G.M. on Thursday night. Need I say any more?

The funniest truth about A.G.Ms is that they are an invitation for egos to do battle. Isn't it amusing to reflect in hindsight how easily we all become entangled in the web of defence. Out come our weapons to attack and protect our self imposed beliefs, wants and whims.

Well, you might be saying: "No, not me! I don't let my emotions get the better of me. I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Well, I took myself by surprise when I brought out all my big guns on Thursday night and had a field day decimating my target. Without judgement or seeking justification for my behaviour, I reflect back to the moment immediately after the outburst. My heart rate had escalated to that of a sprinter who had just completed a 100m sprint. My head felt like it was packed full of coals. My body temperature must have risen about 3 degrees. I felt like I was having hot flashes. I could feel my heart beating in just about every part of my body. I had the shakes. I was on an adrenaline high.

Feeling justified by my actions, I didn't give much thought to my behaviour until my body alerted me to some metaphysical ailment. I woke up the next day with stomach ache. It got so bad by Friday night that I had to climb out of bed at 3h00 to make a hot water bottle. Taking ownership of my self created inner tension, I acknowledged how I had turned my system acid by allowing my ego to sabotage me. I lay in bed with my hands on my stomach and tried to will myself to self heal. The harder I tried to focus on healing myself, the more it seemed to evade me. The 'I' that was trying to do the healing was just more ego and what Spirit has shown me over the last few weeks is there is no 'I' in healing. There is only healing once you surrender completely to Spirit.

The more I became aware of my self created reality, the more I wanted to reverse the state I found myself in, but the more I obsessed about it, the more it evaded me. I knew that I had to quit trying and surrender to being, but that is so easily said, but not so easily attained when one is doing battle within and trying to force your ego to lie down. When one becomes fixated on an intended outcome, it is rather like trying to catch and hold a sunbeam. You just cannot. You have to relax and bathe in its brilliant warmth. You cannot own it or control it, but you can surrender to it.

And as absolute synchronicity, as I am typing these words to you, I receive a mail from my friend, Dan. His message is a quote from Buddha: "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

The text went on to say that it only takes 1 second for your anger to emerge. However it takes a relationship 6 months to heal and restore trust after anger.

I can testify to this fact as the discomfort I suffered in my own body was days worth, by comparison to my split second outburst.

So in closing, my lesson to myself is: In whatever I think, whatever I say or do, may I remember to operate from a place of love, from my highest self. May I remember that my self is Spirit and that everything else is unreal. When I surrender to my Self I feel bliss.

When I become nothing, then I am everything.

Have a blissful week sweet soul

love
Nicolette