My Way or the Highway

How often do we find ourselves sticking self righteously to our truth, believing steadfastly that we are right and the 'Rest' of them are wrong?
Don't we always want for our opinion to be heard, to have the last say? Don't we seek validation for our cause by seeking others who defend us and agree with us?

"...probably there's not just one truth but a number of equivalent interchangeable truths."
'The Voyeur' by Alberto Moravia

Hum! Food for thought!

Don't all roads lead to Rome? Does it matter whether we take the high road, the low road or the road less travelled? We all have freedom of choice as to the twists and turns which we choose to spice up our lives. Does it make an iota of difference to our outcome which life lessons we choose along the way. Won't we be presented with the full array of challenges during our stay on planet earth, but in which order we choose to tackle them is up to us?

Haven't we noticed the chain reaction of cause and effect in our lives? Yes, the turbulence which we cause will be felt by people on other shores, but how do we know that those effects aren't just the lessons that those people are needing right now. I am a big believer in synchronicity.
Life is for living and experiencing. We can't learn about it from a manual. We have to get embroiled in all of its conquests.

So, to get back to the subject of "I'm right and you're wrong!" Let's do a role play

Role play 1

Man comes home from work in bad mood and shouts at his wife: "Why is my house in a mess and my supper not cooked? I work hard and do my bit. This is unacceptable"
Wife replies: "I am sorry. I have let you down. I will make sure it doesn't happen again."

Role play 2

As above man comes home grumpy and craps on his wife
Wife replies: "I can see you had a hard day at the office, but don't take it out on me. I have also worked and put in my effort to keep the family wheels turning. I have made meals, fetched and carried, gardened and shopped, wiped up tears, waited in queues to pay our bills, taken the dog to the vet and helped with homework and all this I did for love and no material remuneration."

Role play 3

Man comes home from work exhausted and slips quietly into the house unobserved, goes and lies on his bed and has some desperately needed alone time, a space to breathe quietly and just allow the spinning wheel of the rat race to slowly subside.
His wife seeing he is worn out, gets on with making the dinner and makes him a cup of hot tea for when he wakes up.

Role play 4

Man comes home via the pub, having downed his sorrows with a few ales and demands his dinner.
His wife, having already eaten with the kids, yells: "It's in the warmer". Feeling unloved and uncared for, he complains about the meal which is now spoiled to which his wife retaliates: "Well, make your own f@*+^ing food then!

So, the question then is: Which is the correct role play? Which of the 4 men and which of the four women are right?

If you chose man no. 1, you chose the Patriarch, the traditional man who is the head of the home. He is the bully. Woman no. 1 is the submissive, subservient wife, who is willing to take the rap for the sake of peace.

Man no. 2 could be a Patriarch or could be a normal guy just venting and letting off steam from his one-eyed perspective.
Woman no. 2 is more empowered and stands up for herself. She knows her self-worth.

Man no. 3 is more spiritually in tune with his needs. He goes within to find his peace and restore his balance.
Wife no. 3 is tuned inwardly too. She respects her man's space and allows him space to be.

Man no. 4 is your proverbial macho archetype. He is just trying to drown out today's pain with alcohol and putting off for tomorrow what he can't confront today. He is your caveman.
Woman no. 4 is your cave woman. She can give back as much as she gets. She is a survivor.

So, haven't we realised that all these role plays are some one's truth and aren't all these truths interchangeable? There are no right or wrong actions or reactions. Doesn't wife no. 1 deserve the husband she's got. She still needs to learn to stand up for herself and until she does, she will continue attracting the same sort of abuse. And that said is man no. 1 wrong for being the Patriarch. No, the system needs the bullies to create the space for growth in those who choose those lessons.

And so if we work through all the role plays, don't we observe that we all have our truth and there are a million more role plays which are each players truth?

We are all players in the game of life. We get to create our lives by living our truth. We are free to interchange our truth when it no longer serves us.

That's what I love about life. Nothing is cast in concrete.

Are you empowered by your truth?
If not, change it.

in love

Nicolette