Land Mines and Rat Traps

Are you a relationship sabotager? Do you place land mines and rat traps all over the place to continually corrode your relationships?

Here's the thing I just observed.

We often manipulate and create war zones just because we feel like experiencing some pain or challenge. We have an itch that needs to be scratched. We feel the need to rock the boat. Why lie back, enjoying the peace of floating on still waters when we can stir things up a little and create a storm.

I don't know about you, but I have started to notice how Chris and I, when we are communicating, drop traps all over the place to trip each other up, and I'll qualify this in just a moment.

We'll be discussing or debating something and it's always from our personal point of view. Let's face it, everything we experience in this current life is controlled by our accumulated experiences thus far. Perhaps we are only open to seeing things from the perspective  and life experiences we hold. It is rather challenging to try and imagine an experience we haven't yet lived through, isn't it? We seem to base all our future learning on what we have already learnt. So I ask you: "What new things will we ever experience if every new experience has to be referenced to something in our pasts?" "For something to be understood, does it have to have been processed before?"

We really are a strange and predictable bunch of beings, so encased in our specific self created realities. It is no wonder that we need divine intervention to stir things up for us from time to time, to throw our lives around a little, causing us to be thrown outside our comfortable little boxes. It is only when we get to see all of our stuff strewn about on the pavement that we really get to observe what we're all about. It is at these priceless moments that we get to choose whether we want to cram all the padding and stuffing back into the box with ourselves and continue on just as we were before the life changing event, or whether we choose to pick up some new pearls of wisdom and package those in with ourselves.

I have started noticing that when we speak to one another, we are often programmed to hear the answers that we have formulated for ourselves, the ones that match our reality. I'll give you some examples.

Chris might ask me to do something that he perceives is going to meet with resistance. So already his resistance is starting to build in anticipation. The question may go as as follows: "Nicolette, I know your answer is going to be no, but do you think...." or "We've been invited to ......,but I know you don't like xyz..." You see these are rat traps. They are not questions. They are statements that cause the other to go for the bait. They don't even justify an answer, because we've just been told what our answer is. We haven't been asked for our two cents worth. It's basically a red flag.

It's as though we are having the conversation in our own heads. The only difference is that we are speaking our thoughts and intentions out aloud to an audience. Now unless you're completely conscious and free of ego, you will most likely find yourself going for the bait and jumping in to defend yourself and getting rather messy in the ensuing battle of wills. The resultant battle will go something like "you're always so negative", "No, I'm not", "But, I never said that" "You didn't have to. I know you. You're always..."

Does it sound familiar?

Didn't we attract the fight by the thoughts and intentions we held before we opened our mouths to speak? Why do we place little landmines all over our conversations to trip up our partners and attract them to battle? Perhaps it is our way of exposing our negative feelings in an attempt to rid ourselves of them, hoping that they will be destroyed in the mighty explosion of our own creation. Maybe our inner sense of unease is just too terrible to live with, so we try and fob it off on those closest.

I was just wondering...Is it just me or is it a familiar role play for all of us?

For me, it is a reminder to continually die to my past every second and stop trying to second guess the future, rather allowing it to unfold as it is meant.

Let's believe in miracles. Let's believe in us, all of humanity, being able to experience life from outside our boxes, from another's point of view.

I wish you a week of awakened consciousness and avoidance of land mines and rat traps.
Ha, ha, ha....Laugh! It's great for you.

love
Nicolette