I Saw Her Eyes

As I joined a queue, the other day, a lady engaged me with her friendly and straight forward manner. “Are you from Durban?” she enquired.”You look like a coastal person”. “You have a beautiful smile”, her son joined in.

I opened to her instantly and engaged in conversation.

She, her name was Penelope, was an ex-credit controller. She was tired of city life and wanted to go back to Durban from whence she hailed. Penelope had become weary of the continual battle to make ends meet, juggling finances, paying off mortgages, taxes, rent, tired of chasing other people’s debt in the corporate world, so she gave it all up.

She shared with me that her son and her had slept outside the previous night and that she felt liberated. I looked into her eyes of radiant blue and was surprised to detect no trace of depression or anxiety, no malice just pure beauty, peace, a sense of true freedom. Her eyes shone her truth.

She told me that she has a very good friend, with the same name as me, who is a very upstanding religious person and who together with Penelope goes on a binge from time to time. Then afterwards they get back onto the straight and narrow. There was a sense of mischief and childlike adventure in her eyes as she was compelled to share..

Even through the strong scent of cigarettes and the pretty dishevelled appearance, this lady made an impression on me. Her gaze stays with me. Her presence was so honest, so open and real.

I have come home and I continually find my mind revisiting the conversation I had with Penelope.

What amazes me is Penelope’s presence. She is completely focused on the moment of now. She doesn’t have a care in the world about where she will sleep tonight, because there are enough stars to sleep under. She is not wrestling with worries about how she will pay her debts, because she has none. She is able to fully engage in the present. She sees beauty in the small things, in nature. Her excitement in sleeping under the stars has the wonderment of a young child, unspoiled and enthusiastic. She is generous with her compliments, not coveting what she hasn’t got. She is not afraid of anything, not afraid of the elements, not afraid of talking to anyone, not afraid of being judged.

There was a kindness in Penelope’s eyes that hauntingly stays with me. The after effect is that of an angel presence hovering over me and guiding me to my truth, "Stay in the present, Nicolette. Stay in the Present!"

I remember the wise words of a teacher once professing that we should not look for our angels in heaven. “They are right here on earth standing beside us, guiding us and helping us”, he said.

Well, Penelope, you are one of my angels. Your truth and beauty bored a tender spot right into the centre of my heart.

I will feel your presence when I am stressing about insignificant stuff like what clothes to wear or what meal to cook or whether I’ll be late. I’ll laugh about the self made pressures that society suggests we embrace. I will remember not to prejudge anyone or any circumstance and just allow it to unfold with the innocence of  a child. I will maintain my humility and my simplicity in knowing that I am all that I am. I will remember to have fun in the smallest, simplest of things.

I am the same as you, Penelope, no different. We are all one, cut from the same cloth. We can all choose to live in the now as easily as we can choose to harbour grievances about the past or stress about what our futures hold. But when we do the latter two we rob ourselves of experiencing the pureness of each never to be repeated moment. We are missing life.

You opened my eyes, Penelope. Thank you.

And to you, my friend, thank you for lending an ear.
Have a sensational week

love

Nicolette