How often do we push the pause button of our lives and take the time to really connect with the special people in our lives and I don't mean: say a little prayer or have a thought of gratitude or smile inwardly. What I'm getting at is this.... When do we stop the wheels of life from turning and actually make a special point of telling the person/s in our lives how much they mean to us, how much we appreciate them and how much we'd miss them if they were no longer around.
Well, today I am stopping the clock to write a letter to my dear husband. This is the man who has stood by me for the past 25 years, has been my dedicated companion and lover, the father of our two sons, my helper and my Mr Fix-it guy.
"Dearest Christopher
How lucky am I that my angels brought me all the way from Cape Town to Johannesburg for a friend's wedding where I met you. I have met many a wonderful person along the way on life's journey, but none that stood out for me with all of your amazing qualities. You truly are a special gem that I discovered, one I will treasure and hold onto as long as we have breath. I could have had the choice of many a suitor, but I chose YOU!
You are the man for me!
I remember writing a list of the traits that attracted me to you when we were engaged to be married. The qualities that stood out for me then and topped my list were your kindness, your generosity, loyalty and caring. You are still that kind, generous person that I met 25 years ago. You are a dedicated husband and father, always preferring to come home to us, rather than spending time with your friends.
I have always loved the way you look after your stuff, the way you tidy up and put things in their place. You have taught me the value of keeping my way tidy and uncluttered. It is an invaluable tool for someone who is as A.D.D. as myself.
I love that you can fix almost anything. Who needs a handyman when they have a husband like you. I remember when we travelled to Durban on our first weekend away together and the fan belt broke on your Dad's car. My moment of fear was quickly extinguished when you whipped out a spare fan belt and had us back on the road within minutes.
I love that you have taken an active roll in the parenting of Calvin and Dylan. Whenever they hurt themselves, you were quick to comfort them. You are always the practical, calm parent when there's been blood and trauma. I'm the panicked parent running around getting the bandages and phoning the emergency numbers.
You are an amazing organiser which works for me with my sometimes scattered energy.
You have your feet firmly planted in the Earth which serves as my anchor when I am levitating. I love your lists and your organisational skills which you have taught me.
I love that you can cook an entire meal and still leave the kitchen in a pristine condition unlike myself who has every soiled pot and utensil piled high in the sinks.
You are a wonderful provider for your family, providing us with more than our needs.
You have a 'think things through' approach to life which fascinates me because I experience life by voicing and verbalising and refining my beliefs as I go along. You will think about and mull over what you want to say, where I will just put it out there like an artist slapping paint on a canvas. Once it's out I will then tone it down or change the impression completely if it doesn't work for me. I see you as an expeditionist where I am an artist.
You like to control life from without, by instilling order, discipline and control in the world around you. I on the other hand go within to access my inner calm and order from the quiet space of my spirit.
We are a completely complimentary couple and I love that.
You are a caring, compassionate, devoted and loyal companion. I know that I would miss you dearly if you were to choose another life for yourself. We do not own each other's hearts, but are together because it is our choice and has been for 25 years. I do not wish to take you for granted and that is why I want you to know just how much I love you and appreciate all that you do and all that you are.
I am truly blessed to have a husband like you who loves me for who I am, who has learnt to accept the things he cannot change in me and who allows me space to express myself and have my interests and hobbies that are different to yours.
It is amazing to have your trust as I give you mine, to do things that give us meaning in our lives without feelings of guilt. It has always served us to do what makes us happy individually so that we can be contented and happy when we're together.
Thank you for choosing me and for the last 25 years we have grown together. I cherish the time we still have together and the lessons we still have to learn.
with all my love
Nicolette"
So, if it resonates with you, how about writing someone you love a love letter. I'm amazed how much clarity and wonderful traits I discovered, having taken the time to write them all down.
Until next week
Nicolette
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