My Only Regret

“Kindness effects more than severity.”

I spoke with a man last week who confided that his only regret was that he had spared the rod with his second daughter. He felt that by spoiling her without punishment he had lost her in more ways than one. She doesn’t respect him. She doesn’t love him and she has nothing to do with him. 

Well, I would have to say that my only regret is that I have not mastered what it is to love unconditionally. My only regret would be that I could not love my children unconditionally, because I did not have an understanding of what it was to love myself that way. Until I have fully mastered self-love, I will never be able to be the all-loving parent I aspire to be.

 

I resurface an imprint of a conversation I had with my late Mom. She said: “Nicolette, if you can’t get the balance right between discipline and love, then just LOVE.” You see, LOVE surpasses all our flaws. Love is like super glue. It heals every crack, every wound, every ache and every doubt. LOVE HEALS. 

When you hit a child you are perpetuating the cycle of resentment, bitterness, revenge and war. How do you teach a child about love? By loving them, not by hitting them. When you hit a child you are taking advantage of your physical power over them. It is a form of bullying at the most intimate level. 

If you want to earn your children's respect you love them regardless of their tastes, their cleverness, their lack of achievement, their sexual preferences and their determination to things their way and not yours. You put your religion, your culture, your education and conditioning aside and you just LOVE. 

Love melts away resentment and warms the most hardened of hearts. 

It reminds me of that beautiful children’s story about the man, the sun and the wind. The sun and the wind are arguing over who has the most power. They agree to a contest. Whichever of them is able to get the man’s coat off is the victor. The wind goes first and he howls and blows up a hurricane force, but the harder he blows, the tighter the man holds onto his coat. The sun has her chance. She shines her magnificent warmth and within minutes the man voluntarily peels off his coat.

Love is like the sunshine. It is allowing. It is non-judgemental. It just IS. The wind is like the ego. In all its trying to force and direct and achieve, it creates resistance. And what you resist persists.

War perpetuates war. The end of war in relationships, in families and all of humanity is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I know what I am going to be doing for the rest of this week – accessing more and more self-love.

 

Have a fabulous week! 

Just a reminder TO DIARISE the remaining five FORGIVENESS mini workshops I am holding at Leafy Greens Café. 

We are systematically peeling away the layers of unconsciousness that prevent us from letting go and forgiving. We are only four workshops away from fully letting go of our pasts and receiving the highest reward – the life we were intended to live.

The dates are: 

Sat 13 Sep     SUFFERING – Repeating Patterns and Holding onto Stuff

Sat 27 Sep     INNER POWER – Acceptance and Choices

Sat 18 Oct     INNER CHILD – Honesty, Authenticity and Happiness

Sat 08 Nov    FORGIVENESS – The gift of Love you give Yourself

Sat 15 Nov    GRATITUDE – The Highest Form of Forgiveness

See you there!

Love

Nicolette