Do You Respect Yourself?

I am called to share with you what one of my Art of Living teachers, Santosh Rao wrote. He says, "The less you are attached to your virtues, the more self-respect you have. If you're attached to your virtues, you look down upon everyone else and your virtues start to diminish. Non-attachment to virtues brings the highest self-respect."  

With this wisdom still fresh in my consciousness, I went to the pub on Saturday afternoon to watch the rugby. Santosh's words were hanging around me like sunbeams. In the car on the way to the pub I dwelled on my intent to not judge others and to focus on seeing the good in everyone.

We arrived in time for the third match, so you can imagine that there had been a fair amount of alcohol consumed and the smell of cigarette smoke hung thick on the air.

Since both teams were South African, I had difficulty choosing loyalty to one or the other side. I really do tend to watch rugby and wonder why, like my friend Nicole often states, they don't put two balls on the field so no one has to fight for sole possession of the ball. She always says that Mums take so long to teach their kids to share and then they play rugby and all their virtues are trashed as they push and fight and struggle to own the ball. But if you can look past the urgency of both teams to win at all costs, rugby is a rather exciting and exhilarating game. I love it. And that is quite a statement for someone who used to have a bumper sticker on her car proclaiming, "Give blood. Play rugby".

My mind placed a few reminders out to alert me to my previous experience at the pub. I had battled intensely with the volume of cigarette smoke that burned my eyes. I recalled how when I took a walk to inhale some fresh air I had been hit on by some lonely men. But today I had decided to be there without the past, without judgement and with an open heart.

The pub was bustling and packed to capacity. I glanced at the fellow spectators sitting all around me. I detected a huge bond between the people. I saw faces lined with pain, faces that were masking their sorrows and many a happy drunk and not-so-drunk. There was a certain camaraderie amongst all because of the game. Everyone, no matter which side they supported were there to forget about their lives for a while and be transported by the game. It felt good to lose myself and become one with my chosen team and one with the spirit of the pub.

I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and confess I hardly noticed the second hand cigarette smoke. It was really warming to engage with real people, like myself, whose only desire is to be loved, respected and understood.

To have no judgement of others, is to have no judgement of self and therefore a deep respect from the core of one's being for one and for all. Our centre of love is unconditional and is from whence we gather our self-esteem, our self-worth and compassion. This is our togetherness, our interdependence, our oneness. When we can see past our differences, our fears, our failures and our virtues we discover that we and humanity are one and the same. 

So, thank you Santosh for your wisdom, for making me use my intellect for the better and for giving my life a quality of deep self-respect for all.

May you find quality in non-judgement and a deep connectedness with humanity this week. Love yourself. Respect yourself. You're worth it.

lots of love
Nicolette