There are no BUTS in Forgiveness

Do you think you can forgive, but never forget?

Do you think you can forgive, but never condone someone’s behaviour?

 The minute you place that obstreperous word, ‘but’ in the sentence you cancel out everything that was said before it.

You either forgive 100% or you don’t. There are no buts in forgiveness. There is no judgement in forgiveness. That is why people the world over battle to let go of the past, forgive and move on.

As long as you derive a false sense of one upmanship out of the power play that accompanies being the one who dishes out the forgiveness, the one who keeps score by remembering the wrongs of the other, the contract is cancelled. You cannot hold power over someone and at the same time forgive them. That is giving with the one hand and taking it back with the other.

There is no ‘but’ and there is no ‘take’ in forgiveness, however there is ‘give’ in forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a gift. It is the gift of unconditional love, which means there is no judgement. There is no measuring or reciprocation. It is purely a gift.

When you forgive another, what you are actually doing is forgiving yourself. You are giving yourself love and that love is what enables you to detach from egoistic thought.  You forgive yourself all your past judgements, all criticism, all hatred and bitterness. You forgive yourself for causing yourself to suffer and play the victim.

Forgiveness is the ultimate gift to yourself.

Forgift yourself! It is the gift of love you give yourself.

 

Special love

Nicolette