How I Handle the Ageing Process

Today I thought I would share something completely different - the side effects of ageing and how I adapt to them.

I know this is a sensitive subject, something none of us really want to dive into and confront. We try and convince ourselves that it is something that happens to other people. We hide and pretend, we deny and fake it, but underlying all these games of pretence lies the inevitable. We become our parents even though we rarely admit it.


Let's face it. Ageing is not for sissies. But it is happening to all of us without exception. From the minute we are born, the clock is ticking backwards to our death.

I share with you in the hope that I entice you out of the misperception that to age is to pass your sell-by-date and to lose value in a society that is fixated on youth. I wish to empower you to be exactly what and who you are without pretence, shame or fear.

So here goes....

As we age we shrink. We can go into blissful denial and wear shoes with higher heels, but unless we exercise to reverse the process gravity inflicts on us; shrink we will, as our inter-vertebral discs lose their plumpness. My core strength training I do with my clients, strengthens the muscles that support my skeletal structure. So in essence I am building an anti-gravitation strength. Strength training also helps to build my bone density. So, the training I do is servicing my Earth vehicle, my body. I can't trade this one in when it is finished, so I intend nurturing it for the duration of my stay here on Earth.

My hair has changed from brown to grey. Do I fight it and continue colouring it to a dried out fake, yellow-gold or do I allow it to be its lustrous mix of pewter and silver? Healthy hair is winning the competition. Also I have been worrying about the amount of peroxide I have plastered on top of my scalp for the last 28 years. It really is very close to my brain. Oops! Maybe that's why I am losing my marbles, which may not be such a bad thing. Ha, ha...

Memory loss is another side effect of ageing. I tend to call my sons by each other's names. On the bright side of it though, if we can all lose the recording of all the past events to which we remain entangled, whoopee!! I say roll on dementia. If we can forget all that happened yesterday then we can live as nature intended, rooted in the NOW.

I definitely have experienced a drop in libido. Sorry guys! This affects us all. Just because you don't do it as often as you used to doesn't measure whether you're a success or failure. Love is not measured by how you perform, how often, whether you can get it up, your size, how many orgasms you can achieve and so on.This new experience is the catalyst in strengthening my friendship with my husband.

Vaginal dryness is yet another sign I'm ageing. This one is easily solved and it is not KY Jelly. Having a bottle of a good massage oil in my bedside table is just what the tantra experts recommend. Actually it makes the whole experience that much more sense-sational.

Eyesight. It's waning. But on the bright side, I have cute reading glasses stowed in every conceivable compartment, handbag and drawer. They come in so many different fun colours and styles. They're cheap and available and so sexy too.

Headaches and migraines. OK, so now we really do have a legitimate excuse as to  "not tonight darling".
But on a serious note,I have become more careful in the choices I make with the foods I eat. When I  eliminate the hormonal triggers such as wheat, sugar, dairy, preservatives and caffeine in my diet I enjoy magnificent ailment-free health.

Weight gain is another side effect of ageing. I noticed the increase in body fat around my midriff as I reached 40. But a few changes and attention to my diet meant that I was able to prevent what most people accept as the inevitable. I became more in tune with my bodys' lowered need for as much nutrition as I become slightly less active. I also realise that whilst I was young my body could handle a lot of punishment, but as I am now in my 50's it is wise to start taking greater care of myself, especially because my aim is to live out my days on Earth as ailment-free as possible.  I have found that to watch my food combinations is key to not piling on weight. By this I mean I don't eat complex carbohydrates at the same meal as protein. I also avoid mixing simple sugars like fruit with other food. I eat fruit as a stand alone snack.

Waking more frequently to urinate in the night. Upside - get the body moving so as not to feel so stiff in the morning.

Some mornings my joints feel a bit achy and stiff. This is definitely in relation to how much wine or acidic food I have been consuming in my diet.

Loss of strength and power. I started to notice the loss of power in my muscles when I reached 50. I don't have the strength I used to, but the upside is I have learned the art of delegation. I stopped trying to do everything myself. And that is liberating.

Grumpiness and irritability. Some days I catch myself and notice that I feel like an old bitch. But then I remind myself I have a choice to take life as an emotional roller coaster or to use humour and laugh at myself. Laughter really is an effective tool in switching modes from negative to positive.

Anyhow, I think you get my point. There are a hundred new events taking place in my body and of course my mind, but I am equally creative in how I handle them. Each new day is an opportunity to forgive and accept the unavoidable, negotiate and make changes to that over which I have some control and have faith that everything is just as it is meant to be.

I wish you a week of freedom from self-inflicted suffering and happy ageing

lots of love
Nicolette

Why we all need FORGIVENESS

 

I have written a book called FORGIVENESS – your gift of love to yourself because I believe that we all need to master forgiveness in order to fully experience life.

We have all suffered at the mercy of others acting unconsciously and likewise we have all caused sufferance to others by our unconscious actions. We are human. We make mistakes which afford us the opportunity to forgive ourselves and others. Forgiveness allows us to fully experience who and what we are and gives us the opportunity to open ourselves to unconditional love.

We humans are not very forthcoming with acceptance for what has been done to us because we love conditionally. We very rarely forgive and let go. We drag up the past and continue to relive our bygone dramas, involving anyone who will lend an ear.

The problem with unforgiveness is that we cause ourselves to suffer. We become the victim of our own self-righteousness. We deceive ourselves into believing that we can forgive someone whilst we stubbornly hang onto the wrongness of how we were treated, and we refuse to ever stoop to condone their behaviour. We don’t allow ourselves to forget either.

My book, FORGIVENESS, will take you by the hand and lead you to an understanding of what love is and what it is not. Without love you cannot forgive. Love and forgiveness are intrinsic to each other. They are one and the same. We cannot forgive until we master unconditional love. Unconditional love is pivotal to forgiveness.

For this reason, I have dedicated three chapters of my book to LOVE. I will help you delayer the deception of your conditioning and guide you to know and experience self-love. You have to have an inner knowing of who you are in order to own your own power. When you own who you are, you will no longer seek outwardly for external fixes; for other people to complete you, love you and make you happy.

I will take you on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. When you have finished reading my book you won’t be the same as you were when you started.  Once you have awoken to the truth, like popped popcorn, you won’t be able to stuff yourself back into the kernel you once were.

In FORGIVENESS I share personal, real life stories from my life and others who selflessly have offered their stories of victory. I show you real forgiveness in action and how it has healed peoples’ lives.

I will lead you step-by-step to a place of understanding, wisdom and acceptance. You will discover your inner power and face the most liberating choice of your life, the choice to let go of entanglement with your past. You will have all the tools to step aside from your shackles of bitterness, anger and guilt and to live your life unencumbered, happy and free.

FORGIVENESS is a book for everyone regardless of your sexuality, beliefs or circumstances, no matter if it is yourself you haven’t forgiven or others.

If you wish to live a fulfilled and happy life, with love as the central theme, then… FORGIVENESS is for you!

 

FORGIVENESS is available in print, online, on mobile and ipad from www.amazon.com , www.createspace.com and www.publisher.co.za

It is available at various bookstores in South Africa or by request from myself with a personalised message from me to you. If you wish for an autographed copy you can contact me on my e-mail nickel@global.co.za  

 

View my book launch video at the link below

http://youtu.be/9Rk61ACEFRk

If you reside in Johannesburg, South Africa join me for my free talk at Raw Works this Saturday 25 January at 11h00. I will be sharing my ‘Three keys to Empower you to Forgive’.

Have a beautiful week

Love

Nicolette

You have the Power

What's your experience right now in this very moment?
How do you feel in your skin?
Are you experiencing peace?
What is your mind buzz? Are you present in the moment or are you replaying old vinyls from your past?

You are only as strong as you are in this present moment. You cannot be who you were 20 years ago. That time is no longer valid. It has expired. You are who you are today. You are not a memory of someone more beautiful, more vibrant, more youthful, less jaded, less scarred. You are the product of every single experience, opportunity and nuance that you have journeyed through. You are a survivor of life, all your relationships, accidents and adventures. Everything that has happened to you has happened at exactly the right time to steer you, develop you and evolve you to this point in time.

You are the main feature show. This very you that you are experiencing at this moment. This is your truth. This is how you are meant to be.

How do you feel about that? Are you in resistance and denial? Are you replaying those old records with all their scratches and glitches trying to rewind the clock? Do you fantasise about how perfect things once were? Or perhaps you are constantly reliving some past nightmare. Every new experience is being soured by some old pattern to which you have become obsessed.

Throw out all those old memories from the past. They are not relevant now. They have become the building blocks of who you are today. You are who you are because of all your cumulative experiences thus far.

Like a fine wine, you have developed, strengthened and matured. The person you are today is infinitely more refined and wholesome than the shadow of your former self.

Do you know the reason so many of us become depressed? It is because we are so infrequently the people we are. We so infrequently find happiness and contentment in just being. We have this insatiable urge to be something better and different to what we are. We are constantly hungry to achieve more, do more and be more.

Here's the thing. To not live in the present moment is to resist life and to have unacceptance for whatever life deals you, which is unforgiveness. To hold unforgiveness towards anything or anyone is to create suffering for yourself. Life happens. It never stands still, but if you choose to resist and fight life you will prematurely age and weaken yourself. You are fighting a losing battle.

It doesn't matter whether it is ageing that you are resisting or the unfair childhood you endured, the tumultuous relationship you're in or the accident you survived or some terrible deed you did in the past. Everyone of these situations highlight your inability to accept and forgive what happened. We all need to accept our circumstances, the times in which we live, the politics, the economy, the global warming, our actions in the past and the actions of others.

We are powerless to change our past. We are powerless to change what happens around us. We cannot undo our history. But we can find great power in the choice to accept what happens to us and to learn from it. We have the opportunity to embrace every part of our human experience with acceptance, humility, forgiveness and gratitude.

We have the power. It is simply a choice.

Stop fighting and start surrendering. Go with the flow. Choose to align yourself with the higher wisdom of the infinite.

Surrender to the simplicity of being who you are. You are who you are meant to be.

Have a beautiful, simple week, embracing peace.

lots of love

Nicolette