Do You Respect Yourself?

I am called to share with you what one of my Art of Living teachers, Santosh Rao wrote. He says, "The less you are attached to your virtues, the more self-respect you have. If you're attached to your virtues, you look down upon everyone else and your virtues start to diminish. Non-attachment to virtues brings the highest self-respect."  

With this wisdom still fresh in my consciousness, I went to the pub on Saturday afternoon to watch the rugby. Santosh's words were hanging around me like sunbeams. In the car on the way to the pub I dwelled on my intent to not judge others and to focus on seeing the good in everyone.

We arrived in time for the third match, so you can imagine that there had been a fair amount of alcohol consumed and the smell of cigarette smoke hung thick on the air.

Since both teams were South African, I had difficulty choosing loyalty to one or the other side. I really do tend to watch rugby and wonder why, like my friend Nicole often states, they don't put two balls on the field so no one has to fight for sole possession of the ball. She always says that Mums take so long to teach their kids to share and then they play rugby and all their virtues are trashed as they push and fight and struggle to own the ball. But if you can look past the urgency of both teams to win at all costs, rugby is a rather exciting and exhilarating game. I love it. And that is quite a statement for someone who used to have a bumper sticker on her car proclaiming, "Give blood. Play rugby".

My mind placed a few reminders out to alert me to my previous experience at the pub. I had battled intensely with the volume of cigarette smoke that burned my eyes. I recalled how when I took a walk to inhale some fresh air I had been hit on by some lonely men. But today I had decided to be there without the past, without judgement and with an open heart.

The pub was bustling and packed to capacity. I glanced at the fellow spectators sitting all around me. I detected a huge bond between the people. I saw faces lined with pain, faces that were masking their sorrows and many a happy drunk and not-so-drunk. There was a certain camaraderie amongst all because of the game. Everyone, no matter which side they supported were there to forget about their lives for a while and be transported by the game. It felt good to lose myself and become one with my chosen team and one with the spirit of the pub.

I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and confess I hardly noticed the second hand cigarette smoke. It was really warming to engage with real people, like myself, whose only desire is to be loved, respected and understood.

To have no judgement of others, is to have no judgement of self and therefore a deep respect from the core of one's being for one and for all. Our centre of love is unconditional and is from whence we gather our self-esteem, our self-worth and compassion. This is our togetherness, our interdependence, our oneness. When we can see past our differences, our fears, our failures and our virtues we discover that we and humanity are one and the same. 

So, thank you Santosh for your wisdom, for making me use my intellect for the better and for giving my life a quality of deep self-respect for all.

May you find quality in non-judgement and a deep connectedness with humanity this week. Love yourself. Respect yourself. You're worth it.

lots of love
Nicolette           

Love Unquestioningly

I've just returned home from a friend's funeral.

It was a very large and beautiful funeral. I know that might sound strange but when you remove the actual cause of death, which on a human level seems pointless and sad, especially considering the fact that Gareth was a young father who was in the prime of his life; the funeral was beautiful because everyone who was there was there because of love.

Before the service I read through the program and the most touching line that resonated for me from one of Gareth's cousins was the line proclaiming, "I hope that Gareth's death will give us some perspective on what is important in life and that is love."

In closing the Reverend David Jones left us with the message that we were all present because of love, love for Gareth, for his family and for each other. That is what gives us meaning and purpose in our lives.

I ask myself what sort of legacy I'd like to leave when I die? And my answer is LOVE. I'd like all who remember me to associate me with comfort, caring, support, listening, laughter, but most importantly love.

After all, why are we here? We come from love and we return to love, but unless we express our love and share it and feel it while we are on Earth, we will experience a life which is futile, reclusive and bitter.

At the wake there were murmurings by some who fear for their lives and are planning their exodus from the crime, and those who expressed their anger and arrogance at the way life so unfairly dealt Gareth his cards.

I still choose to believe that there is purpose in living and there is purpose in dying. And Gareth's death most certainly encouraged me afresh to love more deeply, without holding back, without fear of loss or of not being loved in return. All we have is love and all we need to turn to in times of loss and sadness is love once more.

So In closing, I wish for you that you seek love more earnestly, not in material ways or to fill an emptiness within because that is conditional love; but to reach within and connect with Spirit which is the Divine essence of who we all are. It is this love essence that is the glue that bonds us to one another. Let's choose love. Choose acceptance of how life unfolds. Choose forgiveness and choose to have faith in the outworking of everything for the greater good of all.

Have a beautiful week of loving unquestioningly

love
Nicolette

Body Beautiful

I was inspired by the 'Body Worlds' Exhibition that is currently on show at the Sci Bono Museum in Newtown, Johannesburg.

What a magnificent and inspiring work of art. If you haven't yet seen it, it is a definite must-see.

This is a collection of preserved bodies that have been plasticised without the skin on, so you can have a peek and see what lies beneath your skin. It is rather like having a 3-dimensional tour of the human body. There are giant billboards with amazing quotes, beautiful artwork and so much more.

The exhibition is so cleverly assembled that you are afforded a view of every minuscule detail in every single function of our human anatomies. You get to see how the entire nervous system functions, how all the blood capillaries and vessels transfuse life and movement into our limbs. We were afforded the microscopic view of a baby from 6 weeks until birth. We saw joints unwrapped of all their clever layers of tissue and muscle fibres, tendons and ligaments. We saw healthy joints and lungs and unhealthy ones.

On every wall and in every display case our senses were inspired with quotes and encouragement to really look after what we have been gifted with. The human body is a miracle. We have been so blessed with such an incredible earth vehicle. I honestly think that if we all were afforded this microscopic view of what we have been gifted with, we'd have a very different respect for our physical bodies.

You see we all think we have so much time and we put off being healthy now because old age seems so far away, but as one of the quotes on the walls states:

"From the point of view of youth, life is an endless future
From the perspective of age, it is a brief past
You must grow old and have lived for a long time before you understand how short it is."

Wouldn't it be great if we could bypass the need to lose what we have before we appreciate what we had? If we nurture our bodies and respect them with the best choices of diet and exercise whilst we still have our youth, we really can look forward to many productive, ailment-free years.

We saw giant posters of centenarians who are engaging, care giving, active members of their communities.  They all are physically active and healthy and lead meaningful lives. They all have a purpose to get out of bed in the morning and they all eat lightly.

I came away crammed full of new knowledge, inspired and feeling good.

But when I reflect back on the day, the hero for me was 'God'.
I have such gratitude for the detail and thought that must have pre-empted man's creation. I can never take anything for granted again. Every breath we take, every move we make has been engineered by God.

I know that my soul still has so much to accomplish, that I need to take care of my earth suit, so that it provides me a maintenance free ride for many years to come.

So I encourage you too to make your investment for your future, not in life policies and medical plans, but rather in your physical body. Look after it, nurture it with great, healthy food and look forward to many years of abundant health, fulfilment and happiness.

Have a week of living healthily

love
Nicolette

Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness suffers you.

Think about it. Why do you lie awake at night playing out scenes of unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred in your mind? Because you are unwilling to let go of the past. Who suffers? You. Do your unforgiveness and feelings of self-righteousness give you power? No. They turn you into a victim.

The thing about unforgiveness is that you resist life. You cannot be in unforgiveness and live in the present time. You will never derive maximum benefit out of each never-to-be repeated experience if you attach some part of yourself to the past.

Here's some truth that will shock some of you. If you are fixated about staying 20 and looking 20 for the rest of your life, you are in unforgiveness of yourself and life. Our spiritual beings are utilising physical form for the experience of this life. Our physical experience has a shelf life. From the time we are born we are dying. Fighting or resisting this fact is absolute folly and a waste of precious time. Time waits for no one. From birth your biological clock is in count down to your physical death.

What you need to know is that life is a kaleidoscope of continuous change. To resist that is to cause yourself deep suffering. If you don't believe me then ponder on this. What is permanent in your life? Are your relationships permanent? Is your physical body permanent? Is your career permanent? Are your outer world or circumstances permanent? Are your possessions permanent? Is there anything you can cite as permanent besides your spirit? The answer is 'no'.

The sooner you realise that all life is impermanent and is under constant change, the sooner you'll surrender and let go of unforgiveness towards yourself and others. The sooner you accept that life is what it is and it plays out as it plays out and that there are no supposed-to-be's with life; the sooner you'll release yourself from your shackles of guilt and blame.

Don't blame anyone for your inability to forgive and be in the 'now'. Get out of your egoistic attachment to the thought that you are a separate little somebody who has been singled out and dealt an injustice. It is your attachment to your ego that causes you to suffer. It is not' us' and 'them'. We are all in the sea of life. We are all like water molecules. We are not separate, nor special, nor different from each other. We all exist because of each other. We coexist so we can mirror and learn from our interactions with one another.

There is not one of us who can claim to be innocent and blameless, who has never made an error of judgement with the choices life offers us. We think things, we say things and we do things that cause  others to react badly and because they are our mirrors we realise the discomfort of our creation and we choose again. We get the chance to change our thoughts, words and deeds. It's as beautiful as that. You can't berate yourself for making mistakes. Equally you can't hold others ransom for eternity because of their misjudgements. |Life is our school. That's how we learn and awaken to the power invested in us.

So I encourage you if you're resisting ageing, fighting letting go of the thought that you have been wronged, angry with the hand life dealt you; go within and reacquaint yourself with your Spirit/God.
Spirit is the only reality, the only constant in this ever changing world of opportunities and growth.

When you give up your fight and surrender yourself to the flow you will automatically forgive and you will access gratitude for every single experience life has gifted you with.

I wish you a week of shining your conscious awareness on the blockages you have built to 'Love'.

Be the beautiful, self-loved creation you are!

love
Nicolette