OUR HISTORY, OUR RESPONSIBILITY

The following quote by James Baldwin resonates deeply with what I have been feeling, but battling to put into words, for a while now.

“What we call history is perhaps a way of avoiding responsibility for what has happened…. is happening, in time.”

I agree wholeheartedly with Baldwin that it is time to consider our involvement in our pasts, the pasts of those who came before us, and how we are a direct product of all of their doings. We cannot separate ourselves from the thoughts, words and actions of our forefathers and mothers. Our ancestry is encoded in our DNA. Whether we like it or not, we are firmly rooted to the misguided doings of our forefathers.   

Our conditioning that is woven through our lineage is so deep that we subconsciously and instinctively repeat the behaviours of those who came before us. We act almost robotically, and yet we are not robots. We are humans with a brain, a heart, emotions and an independent mind.  

How long does it take before we question our upbringings and challenge the way our parents did things? Many of us don’t. We just blindly follow the blueprint that has been laid down before us for millennia. And yet, for those of us who challenge our upbringing, we are probably in our middle to advanced years. The shock of this realization of course is that we’ve already blindly repeated the mistakes of our forefathers and mothers. We have robotically thought, spoken and acted in oftentimes the most heartless and uncompassionate of ways because we have acted without thinking.

It is no longer ok to fool ourselves that we are separate from our ancestors’ doings. We need to make a stand and take full responsibility for our lineage. 

To put a stop to it, we need to own up to it.                                                                                                                                                        

“Of course we are responsible for the sins of our forefathers. It is our responsibility to challenge the past and do things differently going forward."                                                                                                                                                                                          - James Baldwin

We cannot pass the blame as we conveniently point the finger at those who came before us. We each need to take it upon ourselves to accept accountability for the mistakes made through our bloodline. It’s time we step aside from our egos and humbly confess our involvement. We need to find it in our hearts to take ownership for what has been done before us. Each one of us needs to forgive our ancestors their blind behaviour, forgive ourselves for all our adopted, conditioned beliefs and we need to ask forgiveness for all the hurtful atrocities we have inflicted upon one another.

It is time to confess our mistakes. The most healing thing we can do for the whole of humanity is say we are sorry for the way we have treated one another, whether in thought, word or deed. Forgiveness is the only thing that will heal and change our world. Each of us needs to do it individually. We each need to seek forgiveness from ourselves and from those whose lineages have suffered as a result of ours.

Take ownership of the families that suffered the loss of loved ones as a result of all the wars we have waged against one another. Take ownership of slavery and the abuse and mistreatment of beautiful human souls. 

Own your racist connect through your roots to Nazi Germany, Apartheid South Africa, Colonial America or Islam. It really doesn’t matter. We all have these roots, every single one of us. None of us has had a pure lineage free of fearful and corrupt doings.

I wish to apologize for all the suffering that my bloodline and I have incurred on my brothers and sisters through our unconscious behaviour. I apologize for everything I have done knowingly and unknowingly and I am committed to acting more responsibly in the future.

Please forgive my forefathers and me. I love you, my soul sibling.

Nicolette

Are you Dying to Live?

Would you be willing to die, in order to have the experience of really living?  

Would you willingly suffer, in order to experience true happiness?  

                         

Would you sacrifice your opinions and lose yourself in order to find yourself?

These questions surfaced as I have been pondering the prevalence of moral decay in our society.

The only comfort I can find is in the fact that life and death are a never ending continuum. Each exhalation we concede is a death, each inhalation we grasp, a rebirth. Every second we’re alive here on Earth, we first die and then we are born again. It would be futile to debate over which is better - the in- or the out-breath. The two polarities exist because of each other. We see this tension of opposites in everything. In every good deed there is a negative, and equally in every bad deed there is a positive.

No amount of joy can be appreciated in the absence of suffering, and yet we all try and avoid suffering as though it were the plague.

Love has no greater platform than that of forgiving some unloving deed. To know unconditional love, we have to experience and embrace our darkness, finding absolute acceptance and non-judgement of all our repressed attributes. We are, all of us, neither good nor bad, but merely a complimentary blend of all our cumulative good and bad feelings, thoughts, imaginings and doings. We each have the capacity for greed and compassion, for love and hatred.

There are no bad people on this planet, just some whom have had less experience than others.

Think about it. If I was brought up in the lap of luxury, having all my physical, material, mental and emotional needs met, how would I have an understanding of what it is like to live a life of deprivation and suffering? How would I know what hunger, intense cold or physical pain feel like? Without ever having laboured physically, would I have empathy for those who toil relentlessly earning just enough for their next meal? How would I know that I am privileged and blessed unless someone or something challenged my ignorant complacency?

Sometimes the best learned lessons are those in which we lose what we had, in order to really appreciate what we took for granted.

We live in challenging times, where corruption, dishonesty and inequality have infested humanity, like silent viruses.

I ask myself what I am doing about this. Nothing. And that is the saddest of confessions.

Aside from complaining or sticking my head in the sand and turning a blind eye to it, I am numb, like the majority of humanity, too afraid of sacrificing any of my creature comforts. 

My inner complaining is causing me to become resentful, but nonetheless I am frozen in my inability to act. 

What will cause me to take action? Probably only the threat of mine or my loved ones’ safety. And that is exactly why through inaction the decay will prevail.  Are we going to turn the other cheek and surrender to the abuse and misconduct of those who are living unconsciously?  Will we condone the corruption in our midst by failing to show solidarity and standing together? Are we relying on others to risk suffering in their pursuit of a better life for us all?

Without sacrifice there is no gain. Doing nothing is equal to condoning the rot.

Suddenly Jesus’ dying a cruel and painful death, makes more sense to me. It was his suffering rather than his loving that awoke humanity to the cruelty and stupidity of their self-righteous and judgemental ways. For out of suffering comes appreciation and awareness.

Perhaps we all just need to suffer some more. We need to suffer until it hurts us enough and propels us into action.

Have you suffered enough? Are you prepared to risk all in order to live? Happy pondering.

All my love

Nicolette

FORGIVENESS WORKSHOPS 2015

BOOKINGS ARE NOW OPEN

Nicolette Lodge, author of ‘FORGIVENESS – your gift of love to yourself’ will take you by the hand and lead you through eleven workshops to empower you to let go of your past, forgive and reclaim your happiness.

Don’t miss this empowering workshop experience.

Dates: Sat 9 May, 23 May, 6 June, 20 June, 4 July, 18 July, 1 Aug, 22 Aug, 5 Sep, 19 Sep and 3 Oct 2015

Time: 10h00 until 12h30

Venue: Leafy Greens Café

Investment: R 3000 upfront or R350 per workshop. 

                                                                                "Nicolette's workshops were great. Her honesty and openness created a friendly and safe space in which to share. The workshops helped me overcome some of my life's hurdles and come to a better spiritual knowledge of myself."                                                                        - Kath Allsop 

“The Forgiveness workshops helped me become aware of how hard I am on myself. I had a lot of anger from my past which I have now released.”                                                

                                             -  Cherylene Shand

“I am so grateful for your workshops which helped me cope with the loss of my father.”                                                     

                                         - Ntsoaki Mothakathi

“I have gained some insight into my extreme sadness with the help of you and others in our group. Attending your workshops has made me think of things in a different light.”                                  

                                                                                                           - Colleen Snyman

R.S.V.P. Nicolette on nicolette@forgiftyourself.com or 083 690-9698

Pure Magic

Today I went looking for beauty

I was searching for some goodwill  -

A salve for my soul,

A soothing touch,

A smidgeon of encouragement for my world-weary self,

A charge of positive high vibration,

A dollop of  faith,

A yearning for a tincture,

The assurance that goodness always prevails

 

I was searching…

For the love that surpasses all wisdom

For my mother’s warm embrace,

A comforting word,

Faith in a positive outcome,

Shelter from the storm,

Some mercy and tender loving kindness,

A blessing from the heart of the Beloved

I searched ...

and I found nature

In all its pristine Godliness and purity

Unblemished by human touch.

I found strength and timeless wisdom

An ‘amness’ that has stood the test of time

A presence, so forgiving of human interventions

A power larger than life

I surrendered my worries to my Beloved as I climbed into her lap

I snuggled beneath her cloak of assurance

And sighed as my head rested on her shoulder

I wept a little as my tensions melted in her forgiving embrace

I forgave myself my humanness, my fears and anxieties

And for doubting Spirit’s omnipresent magnificence

And my soul found refuge, comfort and peace

Sweet soul, may you find your peace in the arms of the Beloved this week

All my love

Nicolette

RELATIONSHIP a Spiritual Practice

“Relationship is not the easiest method for finding peace,

but it is the most effective for discovering what blocks it.”

Stephen and Ondrea Levine    ‘Embracing the Beloved’

 

 

 

Hello dear soul

Relationship is a far greater spiritual practice for us than seeking quiet refuge in meditation. By diving in and committing to relationship, our egos go to battle as we try and defend the pain and suffering of our pasts. Human relations cause us to confront our roadmap if you like. It is the blueprint which we have adopted and from which we robotically and unconsciously operate. If we’re brave enough, we have the opportunity to question that which we so self-righteously defend. 

Relationship is an incredible catalyst for growth. It is a journey to the depths of our pleasure and our pain, but it is the pain, rather, that causes us to examine our conditioned thought patterns and challenges us to meet ourselves in a brand new way.

Rumi says: “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

You see, we should search for the blockages within us that prevent us loving ourselves and receiving love from others. These blockages are the result of previous hurts, and of programming that was indoctrinated into us by well-meaning parents and other role models. 

Our minds are like archives, crammed full of memories of our past experiences and the words, actions and thoughts of others whose paths have crossed ours. These have resulted in judgements, fear, preconceptions, all sorts of expectations and embittered resentments. If we do not examine our subconscious beliefs to which we so easily become enslaved, we will continue to invite conflict and create more of the same in our futures.

 

The good news is, that if we are courageous enough and open our hearts to see ourselves in our partners, colleagues and adversaries, we will confront those aspects of ourselves which no longer serve us. We each have the opportunity to invite our fear, to sit with it, rather than deny it, and to invest ourselves fully in the exploration of it. 

If we listen to our fear and open our hearts to unpack it, we are able to heal our past wounds and forgive ourselves our humanness with mercy and loving kindness. 

In Zen it says “The greater the hindrance, the greater the enlightenment.”

Let’s bring our best selves to our relationships, by weeding out the blockages and barriers within us that hinder our personal wellness. Let your relationships be your Spiritual practice.

I wish you a blessed week of uncovering and releasing what blocks your happiness. Be kind to you. 

All my love

Nicolette

No Regrets

On my deathbed I will ask myself two things – “Did I love fearlessly and did I forgive wholeheartedly?”

  

My closure on this life will be facilitated by whether I loved and how well I expressed that love to those it was intended for. Did I tell those dearest that I loved them? Did they know it and feel it? Was my love unconditional and real? The quality of my love will be directly proportionate to my state of peace and well-being.

My peacefulness will also depend on whether I have resolved my past and whether I said “I am sorry". I will need to have cleared my list of those whom I offended or those who may carry resentment towards me for anything I did, said or thought, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I will need to have forgiven myself for all my actions, words or intentions. And I will need to have forgiven those whose actions or inactions, whether intentional or not, caused me to suffer.

I will have peace accepting that my parents did the best job they knew how to do. Everything they said, did or thought of me, was merely a reflection of their own journey and all of their life lessons. I will have absolute forgiveness knowing that I was just as imperfect a daughter as they were parents and that is exactly how it is meant to be. 

I will ask my parents for their forgiveness, whether they are alive or not. 

I will forgive myself my weaknesses, my humanness and all the mistakes I made, because my experiences shaped me. The greed, impatience and carelessness with which I sometimes lived my life were the teaching from which I awakened.

Knowing that I loved openly and fearlessly and that I was always quick to show my remorse when I messed up (which was frequently), will be the two healing salves that free me from all guilt. 

Love and forgiveness are the yin and yang of my existence. They are my reason for being, my personal expression of who I am and the theme of my every experience in this lifetime. They are central in my journey to wholeness and to leaving a legacy to my bloodline.

Love and forgiveness are the reason I know I will make the shift from this Earthly realm into that of ‘amness’ with grace and ease.

Make your life count. Clear your lists and live courageously. Say: “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I love you.” You’ll be so glad you did.

All my love

Nicolette