I NEED YOU. YOU NEED ME

 

It was during my ‘Facing your Fears’ mini workshop that I released my own fear of becoming dependent on others. This letting go has proved so profound and so needed in my life. I had no idea of how my unwillingness to accept help affected those around me. My need to be in control meant that I was living in a self-righteous delusion of wholeness and independence.

Undressing my fear of depending on others, I have come to realize that I am interdependent with everyone and everything on this planet. I need others as much as I need fresh air, potable water, fresh food and sunshine. I need others, because without their help I am closed to all of life’s blessings. By playing solo I am playing small. Without others I am cut off from the universal well of love and I am swimming against the tide.

I realize that my standing alone was a weakness based on fear, not a strength, as I mistakenly thought. I cannot take credit for any of my accomplishments. I am what I am because of who we all are. We exist because of each other, and not for ourselves.

I realize that my strength lies in my ability to accept the help from the community and to surround myself with a diverse array of people. When I am one, I only have the power of a single woman. But when I align myself to the giant web of interconnectedness, I am as powerful as the whole of humanity. 

I need you and you need me. This is a Divine equation. It is not a luxury or a selfishness, nor a sign of weakness or fear. I need to give my all, and I need to give myself permission to accept the help and gifts from others. We are only as strong as the combined reciprocation of our shared talents.

We really are more alike than we are often prepared to admit. Calvin, my oldest son, shared his wisdom. “We are all like taps.” Taps allow water to pass through them. Likewise, we are conduits for energy to pass through. We are transmitters of love. And just like taps, some of us have an even flow, whilst others of us are gushers. Some of us are more like full shower heads and others of us drip all day long.Some taps are ornate, even ostentatious. Some are masterpieces and yet others are basic and functional. It doesn’t matter whether you are a pretty tap or a practical one, our function is the same.

Our power lies in our ability to channel the energy of love, not in focusing on our physical differences and our separateness. Our purpose is to know ourselves fully, to experience our oneness and to share what we have with one another. I need you and you need me.

Tap into your power this week and experience oneness.

Have a fabulous week 

love

Nicolette                                          

                                                                                                                                                                                               

WO/MAN

Most women when asked if they love themselves will answer, “NO”. Most men, on the other hand, will answer that same question, “YES”. Why?

It is my observation that a woman’s self-worth relies on her being. Women are in continual judgement of their physical attributes, the outer manifestation of their thoughts. Even those women who are admired for their physical attributes are often burdened with feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem.

A man’s self-worth hinges on his doing and achieving. If a man is successful in his career he will most likely have a sound self-esteem. Men are traditionally the hunters and as long as they can protect and supply their family’s needs they feel validated.

Now in the 21^st Century we are starting to see a shift in these basic human set points. Woman empowerment has catapulted many women into their masculine energy. Whilst more women are becoming bread winners, numerous men are becoming more concerned about their appearances.

Let’s look at the seemingly different aversions to self-acceptance.

The feminine component of our psyche, and we all have it, is to ‘be’. The feminine nature is to be a sanctuary, a safe container, a peaceful nurturer. Feminine energy is ‘Spirit’, which is accepting, receptive and calm.

Male energy, which we all have, is the ‘ego’ which is the instigator, go-getter, achiever and doer. Male energy is energetic and busy.

The bottom line is that we cannot have either energy without the balance of the other. The two energies exist because of and in conjunction with each other. A world without peace would be war. A world without go-getters would be a world devoid of creation, productivity and industry.

What we need to do is strike the balance between doing and being. We all need a healthy dose of self-love and acceptance. Self-love has nothing to do with outer physical looks or possessions or achievements. Self-love is the absolute feminine, the absolute acceptance and surrender to being, without the need to change anything.  

We need to balance that energy with a healthy dose of looking at ourselves from the perspective of our intellect which is the ‘judge’. We are here on Earth to experience our oneness through the dual expression of our physical bodies, our relationships, our accomplishments and experiences. All of these experiences, whether pleasant or unpleasant, give us the opportunity to know and understand ourselves more fully.

To sum it up, we need to accept ourselves in body, mind and Spirit; in doing and being. We need to enjoy the experience of creating whatever we choose to create with the excitement and wonder of an innocent child.

There is no wrong or right, just a colourful spectrum of all manner of creative potential. This life is a blessing and is our canvas on which we get to put our thumbprint, express our individuality and our character.

Have a beautiful week balancing your being and doing. It is exactly who and what you are.

Love

Nicolette

EMOTIONS

We are born with the ability to cry. Tears are so cathartic. They help us see, remove toxins, elevate our mood, lower our stress levels and connect us empathically with one another. 

Emotions highlight for us how things are going in our lives, if we know how to tune in to them. Most of us are more accustomed to suppressing our emotions than recognizing them. The reason we don’t heal is because we don’t allow ourselves to feel. 

The pain around any trauma will lesson, once you allow yourself to feel it.
 

Emotions that are suppressed, remain buried within our bodies and can cause chronic illnesses, including cancer and arthritis.

Today I invite you to join me for the fifth in my FORGIVENESS mini workshops – ‘EMOTIONS’.

When:  Saturday 16 August

Where: Leafy Greens Café, Rocky Ridge road, Muldersdrift, Johannesburg (e-mail me for directions)

Time:  10h00 ‘til 12h30

Investment: R150 (Early bird discount R120)

What to bring: Desire to feel, notebook and pen 

Banking details: NF Lodge, Standard Bank, Northgate, Br code  001106, Acc no: 186169841

E-mail proof of payment to nicolette@forgiftyourself.com

I look forward to seeing you there

Love

Nicolette