Madiba Nelson Mandela

I  wish to sign out of 2013 on a high note with inspiration from one of my greatest teachers.

                                               Madiba, you taught me so much.

You taught me never to judge someone for their past. Nobody deserves that. We deserve rather to be valued for what we became, for what we learned from our life's experience and how we evolved into who we are today.

You taught me the importance of treating everyone as a friend, because every stranger is just a friend I have not yet met. And you challenged me to cross the Rubicon and befriend those I fear and mistrust or those who I assume don't like me. When I realised that we are all the same and that we all have the same desires and needs, the thought of separation and division just melted away.

You taught me the meaning of 'Ubuntu'. I am who I am because of who we all are. This has become my mantra. It is no longer just a beautiful saying. I resonate with its truth. I am no less and no more than each other individual or the greater whole. We are all one people, Spirit's people. We are all one blood, the blood of Spirit/Love. We are all sisters and brothers and we are all children of the same/one-and-only God.

You taught me the importance of sticking steadfastly to my goals even in adversity and even when there appears to be no hope. Your 27 years of imprisonment, though they must have felt insurmountable and at times overwhelming with feelings of defeat, your strength in upholding your beliefs against all odds won in the end.

You taught me the importance of education. You never wasted a minute during the time you served. You invested your time and efforts in studying everything possible to empower yourself with knowledge and wisdom, so that you could emerge a true genius in understanding the minds of your adversaries. You used your education to empower yourself to think outside the box, to challenge the conditioning of the world in which you found yourself and give you the tools to steer humanity from hatred to love. You are a teacher second-to-none.

You taught me the importance of having a belief that you are prepared to die for and to never give up.

You taught me the importance of caring for others, for selflessly being of service to others and going out there and finding someone who is in need. As Christ said "The harvest is plenty, the workers are few." You have inspired me to give to others, even if it is merely a smile, a compliment, a hug or a helping hand.

You proved to me that there is a way out of discrimination and intolerance of one another's beliefs. At your memorial service yesterday spiritual leaders and political leaders of the full spectrum united in their appreciation and adoration of you. Your ideals were founded out of humanitarianism and not out of any man-made religion or dogma. Your guiding light is Love/Spirit/God and anything that is of God unites us, and anything that is not of God divides us. Anything that divides is done out of fear and 'unlove'.

You taught me that Love and Forgiveness are inseparable and that these two, which in fact are one, are the only thing worth living and striving for. You planted a seed within my heart to propagate the message of self-love and to be of service to others in helping them let go of their pasts and to show them how forgiveness is achievable. It is possible to completely relinquish attachment to the past and live unencumbered and free.

It is my greatest wish to propagate this message to all of humanity and even though I am only one, as you were only one, I will endeavour to be the best I can be and do whatever I can do. I cannot do everything, but I can and will do something.

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world, for indeed; that's all who ever have."
Margaret Meade.

I wish to play out with this most amazing you-tube clip of Johnny Clegg with our late Madiba.

Have the tissues handy when you do.

https://portside.org/2013-12-07/asimbonanga

 

I wish you and your loved ones the most amazing peace, unconditional love and forgiveness this 'Season of Celebration' and I look forward to connecting with you once again in 2014.

 

 

all my love

Nicolette

 

Mother-in-law

The dreaded word!

The single person who has so much suspicion and negativity stacked against her.
Why is it that Mothers-in-law have the worst possible track record?

There are plants named after her that have sharp sword-like leaves.
Mothers-in-law are frequently associated with meddling, interfering, emotional blackmail, dividing families and so it goes on.

I was blessed with a Mother-in-law who was an angel I'm quite sure.

My mother-in-law never took sides. I always felt her support because she was fair and unbiased. 'Mom' as I was blessed to call her was always there for me. She was 100 % available to babysit at the drop of a hat. Nothing was ever too much trouble for her. She always had a genuine concern for others, for their needs and their welfare. She had a knack of making you feel welcome and special. She was 'Mom' and 'Granny' to more than just her family. She was a true giver and when you gave her anything she made you feel that your gift was absolutely appreciated.

It's funny how life's greatest treasures are often only discovered and really appreciated when they are gone. Mom departed from this realm six years ago and one of my favourite memories of her was in her hour of need when she could scarcely breathe. Her cancer had completely taken over her lungs. Chris and I had taken her for a chest x-ray and since we had to wait our turn we had found a wheelchair for Mom because she was too weak to stand. I had sat myself down on the stairway so that I could be close to her and on the same level, 'eye-to-eye'. Mom fussed over me, still every bit the mother hen, and chided "Don't sit there on the cold floor. You will get piles."

I was astounded that even though she was at her lowest and her physical body was giving up on her, her concern was not for herself but for me. She never lost herself in a fight for survival. She had a calmness and complete acceptance of her situation which amazes me to this day.

I wasn't always trusting and giving and fair to 'Mom'. I had my reservations and judgements. I oftentimes spoilt our relationship with my fears and my separateness. I would focus on how I had been brought up and how different my ways were to her ways of doing things. I focused on my otherness and individuality, my stubborn need to do things 'my way'. I would be impatient with Mom when she phoned, but she persisted in calling and offering her caring. I didn't realise the sacrifice, nor the self-driven determination on her part to keep the channels of communication open between us. I didn't appreciate the effort she put in to include and support and nurture me.

Hindsight is such a valuable tool. Now that I have a grandson,  the wheel of life has turned. I have become my Mother-in-law. Well, let's just clarify that. I wish to be everything my Mother-in-law was for me. I want to be there for my grandson's Mommy. I want for her to feel comfortable and safe with any of her concerns, safe knowing that she can trust me. I want for both of my future daughters-in-law to be just like daughters to me. I want them to know that I don't judge them. I love them and care for them just as my own. I want for them to feel safe and loved and cared for and that nothing will ever be too much to ask.

Mom has been one of my greatest role models. She was humble, kind, charitable and loving. And she has inspired me to be the best I can possibly be.

So, if you have a mother-in-law that you value, send her this mail and tell her how much you love and appreciate her.

Strong families make for strong communities, strong countries and an empowered world.

Bless you this week!

all my love
Nicolette