Everywhere I have been of late I have had different versions of the same conversation with a diverse number of people. The topic of discussion is: Why are there doers and those who happily sit by and watch? How can we create a community where we all participate, if it is indeed possible?
The more I have dwelled on this topic the more it becomes evident to me that I am in judgement of others who aren't like me. I am a self-driven doer. So, from my perspective all others need to be doers, achievers and go-getters too. But this thought projection is flawed. It is thwart with masculine energy and ego. Can we all be doers and givers and go-getters all of the time?
I pondered my need to be the giver because being the receiver makes me feel uncomfortable. As the receiver I feel weak and needy and rather like a loser. I cross examined my desire to be in control and on a superior high because I am the one who has to be the proud doer or giver. How would I fulfil this need without others who willingly accept what I offer them? We can't all be givers, as much as our upbringing has instilled in us that 'it is better to give than receive'. We have brainwashed ourselves into believing this codswallop. How can we give and in our moment of charity judge the person we are giving to as less than ourselves? How can we place ourselves on that pedestal with our puffed up ego and dare to gloat and feel more special than the person who has humbly accepted our gift? It takes humility to receive. The ego loves to be in control of the giving and doing doesn't it?
My ego certainly got caught out. I then examined the option of living in a community where everyone has a role to play. We can't all play the same role. We can't all be care givers, nor can we all be farmers. We need the doers who will actively see to the planting and harvesting and preparation of food. We need doers who will take care of children and education. We need those who will take care of the sick and disabled and those who handle maintenance and security. We need accountants and designers, architects and engineers. We need inventors as well as the work forces to implement the great ideas. We need thinkers and dreamers and planners and motivators. We need those who think outside of the immediate concerns within the community. We need those who are gifted to dream and conceptualise, so we can plan and strategize for the future. We need those who uphold the highest good of everyone in prayer and emotional support too.
And so I came to realise that we are not all doers, in the same way. Some of us are silent doers who go within to receive wisdom. When we are listening, dreaming or planning, we are no less valuable to the community. When we are holding someone's hand or offering a shoulder to cry on, we are no less than the person who is planting cabbages, or cooking the evening meal. We are all valuable and doing our part whether it is receiving acknowledgement or not.
If we are graciously taking advice or accepting a meal or a gift of someone else's time, we are giving that person the gift of allowing them to use their God-given talents for the manifestation of their true life purpose. "Who is gifting who?" I ask. We need each other in order to realise our true potential. We exist because of each other. We need to step aside from our prejudiced egos and the belief that our way is the only way that is right.
We cannot all be givers. It is unrealistic and egotistical to believe that you can just be a 'giver'. We have to find the balance and we have to give others the chance to give to us too. We have to humble ourselves in the realisation that we are all givers and receivers and that the two exist because of each other. Neither is greater or lesser.
We need to pause the frenetic conveyor belt of life and reflect upon the fact that all creation is born out of a thought rather than frantic doing. It is out of boredom that the best inventions are born. So, to judge someone who is appearing to be doing no more than just sitting and thinking or scribbling on a piece of paper, is to say that your way is right and their way is wrong. It is to deduce that you are more worthy or deserving than he/she who is seemingly taking time out and being idle.
Let's stop judging one another as different or lesser, greater or better and just focus on what we each are doing to find real satisfaction in living our life purposefully.
We exist to serve one another. Let's find more ways to be of service to the community and to help one another. Let's pool our resources and share what we have been gifted with. Our togetherness is our only strength. Let's be givers and receivers without any further guilt or judgement. And let's especially thank those who graciously receive from us. It is them whom we need to thank.
And may I thank you, my reader, from the bottom of my heart for willingly allowing me to share what is on my heart. Without your willingness to receive my writings I would be no one and nothing. I would have no purpose and no satisfaction and I would have had no growth either. Thank you for humbly accepting my writings on a weekly basis and to those of you who every now and again write and tell me how my sharing has impacted on your journey, thank you for giving my life meaning.
Have a beautiful week!
love
Nicolette
