Let the River Flow

How I do love life and all the lessons that unfold with it.

The recent rainfall and resultant rising water table and floods have given me much food for thought.

It fascinates me how man would try and alter the course of the flow of water, by creating dams, breakwaters, retainer walls and reclaiming land. Ultimately the power, that is water, has its way, whether by gradual seepage or a massive heave and a sudden explosive bursting of its bondage. We can after all only contain water for a limited period of time, until the pressure build up is too great.

I find myself pondering the similarities of water and emotions and noticing that we behave similarly with our emotions, almost damming them, keeping them under wraps, so to speak, until they reach breaking point and the river bursts its banks, dangerously spilling our contents all over the place.

I am deeply confused as to why we humans would try and prevent the natural flow of water, when we know that it ultimately will have its way whether we like it or not. I have witnessed my neighbour, who is on lower ground than myself, piling rocks into my drainage pipes, to try and stop the flow of run off water onto his property. Well, we all know that the resultant build up of water on my side of the wall will eventually cause the wall between us to collapse.

Why do we try and hide our feelings and mask them when we know their passage into the present moment is inevitable?

Do we try and con ourselves by putting off what we don’t feel like dealing with right now in the false hope that tomorrow never will come?

We all know tomorrow always comes.

A stitch in time saves nine – It’s really less messy to tackle the situation fresh, rather than cleaning up the resultant debris

What we resist persists - whether that is a chocolate addiction or the inability to face an obnoxious bully. The build up of pressure, be that emotional or physical will triumph.

So what I simply find myself learning is that we need to allow the river to flow. We need to give ourselves permission to just be and let go of control, conditions, rigidity and expectations and go with the flow of life. Allow our unconditional love to flow. Be flexible and open to change, because change is one thing we can be certain of.

We need to stop creating boundaries, channels, walls and compartments and just allow circumstances and life to Flow!

Remember, ‘Life happens whilst we’re busy making other plans’ -  John Lennon
or perhaps 'the river of life flows whilst we are busy creating obstacles' 
                                                                                              - Nicolette Lodge
                                                                                                                                                                             
So my friend, until next week, I wish you flow.
Surf the wave. Have the ride of your life!

Love

Nicolette

Never Give Up

Hi again

One of my favourite teachings is this: 'Each bull's eye hit is the result of a hundred misses.'

If we watch a baby trying to walk, they stumble and trip and wobble all over the place, but eventually after they have taken a few knocks and tumbles too many, they grasp the knack, they seem to switch into a mode as if they were always able to walk.

Isn't that exactly how we are in all aspects of our lives?

The first time we did anything it felt daunting, but the more we persevered, the easier it got. Whether that was riding a bike, learning to read, playing an instrument, engaging in a new exercise program or heaven forbid learning to use a computer (that's my latest mental task).

As much as we all feel doubt and fear at the outset of a new challenge, the best antidote is to simply dive in at the deep end. The experience of coping and trying to stay afloat far outweighs the safe option of standing at the edge of the pool paralysed with fear, thinking up all the reasons why we shouldn't even try.

When it comes to new challenges for the body, mind and soul; there really is only one way that we learn and that is by getting wet. We can read as many books as we like on how to ride a bicycle, but the crunch comes when we get on the bike and ride. Most new challenges can't be learnt from a book, they have to be felt and  experienced first hand.

So, when we feel insecure about taking the next step in the very next challenge we face, remember
-   we are not the first person to face this challenge
-   we are not alone
-   if everyone else can do it then so can we (we're not special, we're the same as all the rest)
-   making mistakes is part of the learning exercise
-   we need to allow ourselves to fall
-   we need to remember to laugh at ourselves, life isn't so serious
-   practise, practise, practise... makes perfect ( a hundred misses and finally the bull's eye hit)
-   NEVER GIVE UP!!! We must remain determined and disciplined to reach our goals

So when life's challenges get tough, remember just as our physical bodies need to be stressed in order for our muscle fibres to grow and our bone density to increase, so do our spiritual selves need to be stretched and pushed to the limits.

Keep on going! You're going to make it. And remember to tell yourself how beautiful you are and how proud of yourself you are for persevering. You will achieve it!

Aim for the moon.
Even if you miss, you'll land amongst the stars.

Have a fabulous week

love
Nicolette

When our World Falls Apart

With all the natural disasters happening around us in terms of world shift and none of them within our individual powers to halt them, I decided today to discuss when our world falls apart, how do we respond?

I woke up this morning to a loud crack and then a rumble of thunder. Thinking nothing of it, I went back to sleep only later to be told by my son that our swimming pool had lifted out of the ground with the rising water table. I stumbled into the kitchen to discover a pool of water in the scullery and a drip through the ceiling in my study. My roof was leaking and the damp proofers were here just last week. To top this all, my windscreen wiper blade went on the blink and it was pouring big rain drops outside. I thought I faced a bit of a challenge.

You see, no matter how much we prepare for the storms of life, how much maintenance or damp proofing we do, when the great tsunami comes no amount of sheer force or will power will avert it in its tracks.

We can stand outside hollering and protesting with placards to God, but the flood or earthquake or whatever disaster will run its natural course.

The choices we have are the following:

-          Run outside and face it, screaming blasphemous obscenities

-          Run away as fast as we can

-          Stand and survey the damages, ascertain what can be done to rescusitate the situation and take appropriate action

O.k. we know the first scenario well. How often do we go into anger and denial and poor me mode. ‘God how can you do this to me?, this can’t be happening to me, bad things are always happening to me, it’s not fair....’We all know how much stress we impose upon ourselves by blaming everyone else and acting the poor helpless victim.

The second scenario is the one where we run away from life’s problems and leave someone else to deal with them, scarcely realising that more challenges are going to hit us just around the corner. Haven’t we observed a particular friend who has jumped out of a troublesome marriage and then subsequently hopped straight back into another relationship with all of its complications, almost repeating the same cycle?

Then we get the third scenario, where we assess the situation and make the choices as to how we are going to move forward. It is only in our staying in the present, staying calm and almost detached from the situation, without becoming emotional, that we can then weigh up the situation and decide how to handle it. After all getting angry at a natural disaster is not going to take it away. Shouting at God to fix it won’t help either.

It is rather wonderful to observe how some people pull together in these times of trouble and collectively join forces to give of themselves, their time, their material wealth, their prayers, their physical strength, etc. It is wonderful to see how many rise to the challenge and dive right in without even being asked.

It really is when life bumps us around and messes with us that we get the chance to work our residing discomfort into a place of greater ease. We really get to see how we react.

It is our choice. We hold the key to the door of tomorrow. It is by our actions today that we create our futures.

So, let’s decide today to not take life so seriously. There are always many more who have it a hundred times worse than us. So let’s make the most of every situation we find ourselves in.

Tip for the week:

Get to higher ground and buy an umbrella.

Have a happy week

Yours in sunshine

Nicolette

How Much Love is Enough?

I was reading a novel by one of my favourite authors when these words shot out of the book like arrows to my heart, ”Love cannot betray because it has nothing to do with possession” and I thought these words were worthy of deeper reflection and meditation.

So, here goes.

As one of my dearest and closest friends once shared with me that “love is not ownership of another’s heart and soul. It is a gift from one soul to another without judgement or expectation”. It is not that these words are new or that they are telling us what we don’t already know. We just need to constantly remind ourselves of our humanity and our fears and our need to possess...

Our need to possess another human being is all about fear and feeling inadequate within ourselves. When we are complete and balanced mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we have no need of another’s love to fill our void.

When we love as a whole person our love is not seeking anything in return. We simply can love because it is an overflowing of our self love and appreciation.

Have you ever observed when we are blissfully happy, the world around us seems to take on an irrridescant glow. We feel in love with life and love everyone we encounter. People seem kinder and jollier. This energy that bouys us up, seems to bouy everyone around us up as well.

When we were at school, can you remember the amount of squabbling over who was whose friend. If she was mine she couldn’t be yours or later as teens, if he was mine he couldn’t be yours?

When we were at home there was a constant vying for our parent’s attention. Who’s the favourite? Who’s getting more attention? Me, me, me....complete me!

When I had my second child I had a moment of panic. How was I going to share my love evenly between my two sons? How could I ever have enough love to give them both evenly without favouritism? How could I love them the same?

Well, as I have realised over the years...

-           love cannot be measured. We either love or we don’t

-           love is the source of giving. It never runs dry. The more you give, the more it is replenished

-          we don’t love all people the same, we just love

-          we can love more than one person. We can love lots

-          love is pure and we should not feel fear to love openly. We cannot betray anyone by loving them or loving someone else

-          loving has nothing to do with receiving any form of reciprocation, otherwise it’s called needing. I’ll love you back if you love me first...

-          we don’t fall out of love. We fall out of passion, lose commitment, we become needy and fearful, our expectations change, we can become bitter and unforgiving, we become lazy...

-          love is an eternal well, we either decide to open the tap and let it flow or we can choose to shut it off. It is a choice

-          when we love ourselves, we love all of humanity and nature

Can anyone ever be regarded as bad for loving someone else’s friend or ‘heaven forbid’ for loving someone else’s lover? How can loving ever be anything but pure and good? Can we put a limit on love? Can we love lots of children, only a few select  friends in order of most to least and only one lover, husband or wife?

I was just wondering, “How much love is enough?”

Food for thought! I’ll leave you pondering and we’ll catch up again next week

Until then keep on loving and telling yourselves how absolutely fabulous you are

Love

Nicolette